Posted by Krazy Kat on March 20, 2002, at 17:11:35
I realize there is no way to explain my situation in one post, however I am going to try.
First of all, here are the dx's my pdoc has suggested:
Mood Disorder, NOS
BP II
Borderline Personality
SchizoaffectiveI am not an easy patient to deal with, because I tend to minimize things. For instance, during another "break down" last night, I wrote a suicide note and took lots of sleeping pills, but when I called my pdoc, I just said I was "down" again.
I can't remember since about age 15, ever not feeling a little depressed, except when drunk. I also have had intermittent major depressions, the kind where you can't get out of bed, can't take a shower, etc.
At about 21, I started seeing the world Very differently at times. I have always been creative, had quite an imagination, and was a little "strange" by normal human standards, but at 21, I became very disassociated at times, at time very high and full of myself, also very short-tempered. At times very low.
Sounds like Bipolar, right? But the other component is "psychosis" - I hear things that aren't there, think that I see ghosts and other imaginary figures. I believe this for awhile, and then "come to my senses." It doesn't seem to be related exclusively to either when I'm high or low.
Last night I had "episode" - these come after a few days of depression, which usually follow a high period (That's what happened this time).
I get despondent, plan my death, and get, well, basically hysterical. This is when I'll hide in the closet for hours, or take too many sleeping pills. Disassociation often increases tremendously, and I view people and objects as threats. Last night Pooh Bear had to be removed because he was freaking me out.
Did I mention I also have OCD problems?
I'm just curious if this sounds familiar to anyone, and, if so, what meds you've found have helped.
Thanks so much.
- KK
poster:Krazy Kat
thread:99067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/99067.html