Posted by JANNBEAU on March 20, 2002, at 16:55:26
In reply to Re: dealing with the loss of friends? - Jannbeau, posted by Angel Girl on March 20, 2002, at 14:42:41
> Hi Jannbeau
>
> That was very sound advice that you gave me. I will try to do that when I feel negative thoughts coming on. I'm also going to check the net for sites on cognitive therapy as you suggested. I'm very new to therapy, I've actually only had the one session so far. Most of my thoughts are negative, hence where I am today. I have a long road ahead of me to recovery and I'll be applying your advice that you gave me. I thank you for that! :)
>
> Peace,
> Angel GirlPeace to you, Angel Girl!! Thanks for responding and being open to suggestions. Something else keeps niggling at me, too. Shanti has alluded numerous times to a technique called "creative visualization"--although she doesn't name it. The book I read on this technique was "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain (Shanti-Shakti, strange coincidence--both seem mystical). The thought, with creative visualization, is that you can THINK or VISUALIZE a dream or wish, no matter how small or how big, into REALITY. So, another way to counter your negative emotional state is to visualize a positive state. It's sort of like (and this is a simplistic example, but I use it when I'm getting a blood pressure check): visualize yourself sitting on a big rock in a beautiful glen. Imagine each item in the glen: the plants, the color of the sky, the birds and animals that creep up to you because you are quiet, beautiful, soulful, and gentle - - there's a waterfall nearby, the birds are singing; you are at peace with yourself and with your world--you get the idea--I'll guarantee your blood pressure will be 10 points lower if you can achieve this state of light meditation. It's the same kind of thing, but the goal is different. Your goal is, first, to defeat your depression, to love yourself, to change what you can about the situations that brought you to this state, to find acceptance of those things that you cannot change--and the wisdom to know the difference (Serenity Prayer)--is that not right, Shanti? Which brings up one more idea--Twelve Step Programs (my son found peace, acceptance, and the courage to change his life in Alcoholics Anonymous, but there are many other groups: the major thing is the SUPPORT, ACCEPTANCE and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that people find in these meetings--and they're FREE!:).
A couple more ideas and I'll be quiet for a while. I don't want to overwhelm you:) The best self-help book I've ever picked up is the Holy Bible. The books and chapters that keep coming to mind right now are Eclesiastes 3 (old testament)and I Corinthians 13.
Then there is the old "Born to Win" by James and Jongward, which deals with Gestalt Therapy--when you are angry, tear up a piece of paper and throw it away, etc. There's a workbook that was most helpful.
It is probably most important that you DO continue with therapy. Getting better is hard to do and you don't need judgement, just guidance. Oh, and don't be surprised if your first therapist or group or whatever is not a good fit. You have to shop for a therapist like you would shop for a great pair of shoes (hard to do when your feet hurt, I know, but, if you are to wear them all the time, they MUST fit, right?--same with therapists.
Got to go now.--Going to have to limit myself electronically here if I'm not careful!
Cheers,
Jannbeau
poster:JANNBEAU
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/99064.html