Posted by Janelle on March 18, 2002, at 21:01:54
In reply to Janelle from BCat » Janelle, posted by BarbaraCat on March 18, 2002, at 20:13:28
Barbara,
I'm sorry to hear that your husband isn't working either because he got laid off. At least he is getting some retraining so hopefully he will find a new job soon. It sure does sound like your fibromyalgia is an outcome of the intense stress you've dealt with.
I'm in the SAME boat you are - I don't know that I will ever feel as *good* as I would like to so like you, all I'm really hoping for is to prevent myself from going down into what you described as "those deep dark scary places where I cry all day and have panic attacks and everything is totally overwhelming." -- This is the PERFECT description for what happens to me.
I get to the point where I sometimes can't or don't get out of bed for much of the day. Other times when I'm up and about I cry alot, have panic attacks and anxiety, worrisome thoughts and feel overwhelmed by EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING.
When I was working and would have an *episode* I'd wind up calling in sick for awhile and if I felt I couldn't go back for the forseeable future I'd take leave time or just have to quit. I HATED doing that.
Believe it or not, right now, today, I SHARE what you referred to as a "black mood" - nothing interests me either and everything seems difficult or pointless (even the simplest things just to get by, that can be taken for granted).
I've been staying with my sister because I got overwhelmed being at my own place (I live alone; my boyfriend had to go out of town for an extended, indefinite period of time) and can't cope with things like for example having to decide what to make for dinner, then cooking it. I'm also weary and bored.
I share your goal and hope of getting getting to a point where I have the motivation and energy to be on my own again, to FIND A JOB without fear that I won't be able to hold it because of this condition.
To answer your question, I don't do a whole lot during the day while I'm not working ... I sleep late, watch TV, take a long walk (I live in a warm climate), go on the computer. Yes, I do find it hard to stay structured and motivated. And I'm the kind of person who when I am well NEEDS STRUCTURE.
What about YOU - what do you do all day since you're not working?
I'm feeling SLIGHT effects from my meds (I'm on EffexorXR, Lamictal, Zyprexa, Klonopin and a natural thyroid supplement). I'm hoping that once I'm up to a therapeutic dose of the Lamictal that it will augment the Effexor (AD) and give me the much needed jump start.
And thank you too, for being my 'pen pal'.
-Janelle
poster:Janelle
thread:98599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/98680.html