Posted by Angel Girl on March 17, 2002, at 2:28:08
In reply to Re: How do you deal with the loss of friends??? » Angel Girl, posted by Scott Hendrix on March 17, 2002, at 0:54:11
Scott
I'm new here too. I'm severely depressed and going through a very rough time in this last week. I don't know if you saw my earlier post, I wanted to kill myself this week. I have constant suicidal thoughts. :( I'm not bi-polar, at least that's not how I was diagnosed even though I have had manic episodes last year but I do know what you're going through. I've been there done that. If everybody would just leave me alone I would be doing EXACTLY the same as you. I would be VERY content to lay on the couch all day and watch mindless hours of TV or sit at this computer. I'm on here alot too. I don't see friends either. I was referring to online friends. They didn't tell me that they were abandoning me themselves, a mutual friend told me. But I know its true because I have my AIM up and they are ignoring me as well as we all frequent another message board and they're ignoring me there too. It REALLY hurts ALOT!!!! I've known them for a LONG time. It also makes me very angry. Anger seems to be my new friend. It is soooo not me. I don't even know this 'person' who has taken over my body and my mind. And where did the 'real' me go???? How long have you been dealing with this? What meds are you on? Do they help? I don't really have any suggestions for you cuz I'm fighting the same thing. Only diff with me is that LIFE is forcing me to work or I won't get paid. The almighty dollar is speaking LOUD and clear. I can't ignore it or I'll lose everything. I'm very close to that now. :( Where do you live Scott? I'm in Toronto, Canada. Write me back, k? I'd like to learn more about you. :)
Angel Girl
> Angel, I am new to this board so I really don't know your history, but I struggle with this alot myself. I feel like my constant swings of being in Good Spirits and Talkative, Parties, Being Around Friends etc.. then suddenly NOT being around them at all and secluding myself into my home except for work causes them to think that I am not a real friend. I don't know this but I have come to this conclusion. I am in the domant state right now. I don't want to leave the house, I spend endless hours on this damn computer. I actually enjoy it more that spending time with friends. I sleep on and off during the day, and get on the computer, get bored and then fall asleep. I have managed to turn off my feelings towards my friends feelings of wanting me to go and do things with them. They don't call as often anymore. I know that eventually I will come out of my shell again and go out and have a great time, but just not all the time anymore. I am 27 going on 28 in a few months (Gemini). I just don't see the spark or energy in going out and doing things with other people anymore. The only way for me to get that way is to get messed up on alcohol or other things. I am tring to kick all habits and it is hard. I am bi-polar, used to be mixed, with moods changing rapidly. Now it seems I have slipped into lull. I have very decreased energy and no appitite for life or work recently about the past two months, I am tring to kick my self back into semi manic mode to get out of this lull. Any suggestions. I know its alot... I have lost friends because of my irrational behavior as well but none have come out and told me that is why and I haven't asked.
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> > I lost 2 of my closest friends this week. They feel that they are doing me more harm than good by talking with me. They also don't understand what I'm going through. Why can't they see that by abandoning me they are hurting me even more???? I find this very cruel and I hate what they are doing to me. If people can't love me enough to stick with me when I'm ill then I don't want them in my life when I get better. To leave me until I get better is not my idea of what a friend is. I'm extremely hurt, angry and once again crying. Yet another item for therapy. :(
> >
> > How do y'all deal with this????
poster:Angel Girl
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020313/msgs/98398.html