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Re: Is this anxiety? » J1960

Posted by BarbaraCat on March 3, 2002, at 14:45:47

In reply to Is this anxiety?, posted by J1960 on March 1, 2002, at 15:35:02

Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, what's in a name? It's overwhelming and terrifying and feels like singed nerve-endings. I've had depression/anxiety all my life. My pattern is usually anxiety (hypomanic) then depression. I'm now just recenly emerging from an extreme and desperate state. I'd be out shopping, whatever, and would get this swell of feeling, usually deep grief, sorrow, for no reason, any reason. I'd have to dive into a restroom and sit on the stall and sob until the tidal wave passed. Sobbing in the car, praying to ward off the awful sense of doom, dreading another day of exhausting anxiety and psychic pain. There are plenty of things to be sorrowful about in this world, but when it becomes disabling and no place seems safe (except maybe bed, but then there's the guilt and loss of pay), then medication is in order.

I'm currently on Remeron, lithium and klonopin. My childhood was bad, but no matter, my chemistry is as it is and I need medication to keep it stable. I do everything else I can, meditate, pray, exercise, eat healthy. I'm well informed, I've had decades of therapy. But without my chemical angels, I am one sad and sorry gal. I give thanks every day that I don't have to suffer through that horror and that meds, when they work, work like a miracle. - Barbara


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