Posted by sjb on February 27, 2002, at 12:11:30
In reply to sjb: I joined your move from psycho-babble, posted by sue doe on February 25, 2002, at 12:59:58
> I had thought about moving here also. I am new to this whole site and wasn't sure about using the other to "chat". This is actually better than chat. You don't need to think so fast! And getting mail in my box to say you've written is as exciting as old-fashioned letters. Thanks for keeping in touch.
I don't see your message over there so I'm replying here. I'm not real hard core to this site, either, but have been on it for years, off and on.
> I've learned to accept the arrogance of those who don't understand mental illnesses, I guess I was once one of those types also. Serves me right. Yet I still turn the phone off when he's on one of his rampages. It's a "medical" decision.
Good for you. I was one of those too.
> I thought you were going to the pdoc today. Is that still on? Why did you decide to go off your meds? I am often tempted but change my mind.
I went on Monday and it was a disaster. It was someone I'd seen before and now I know why I left. She's really into control and treated me like a child. I more-or-less said blankety-blank-off. I tend to agree more and more with Old School, although my depression, atypical, is not in his league at all. It's like he REALLY has depression. Sometimes I think I should just be able to "suck" it up. I also wonder how did this happen? I thought I used to be "normal".
I went off all meds due to the side effects and because I wanted to train for a marathon. Needless to say, it's been a disaster. I know now I need something, but I threw out all my meds and got po'd at my PDoc. STUPID!!! Now, I'm waiting until I check into treatment next Tues. It's in Ft. Lauderdale. I'm very scared and it will be for 6 weeks. I'm still in denial about it, but I guess I'm going. Booked flight - gave notice at work. I'm going to try to gain some control over my binge eating and depression, plus I hope it will help my marriage, or, maybe, to realize I shouldn't be married. I don't know. My depression and binge eating became much worse after I got married 6 years ago, of course that coincided with training like my husband did. (I tend to be monkey-see, monkey-do in my relationships and then try to "do it better.") My husband is wonderful but I wonder if I"m trying to fit a square into a box. Maybe it just isn't for me. I had been alone for a long time and didn't get married until 35. I digress again. Anyway, we're busy at work now, and since I leave this Tuesday, I won't be able to post. I don't want to be intrusive, but if you would like to communicate by regular mail, I would really like that. My few friends don't understand my depression and eating issues real well, although they are wonderful folks. But I isolate and that has been hard for them to stay close, I understand that. You have been a great help to me. My email address is: beale@doi.state.nj.us
I don't like the words "mental illness" because that sounds like insanity to me. I like the words, "mental difference." Our minds just work in a different way. What do you think? again thanks for keeping in touch. I hope your day goes better. I binged a lot over the weekend. Guess I lost my resolve, but this morning I have tea in hand and ready to take on the fight again.
Yeah, mental illness is weird. I had a terrible night last night and broke down when I finally made a committment to this place. I was crying just thinking I'll never have a normal life and how long this has been going on. Plus, I know my husband is right to "nudge" me there, but I tend to be so surprised that he thinks I'm worth it or that he has so much patience about it. A part of me wishes he would kick me out so I could live my "life" in hiding.
Glad you're taking the fight again. .
poster:sjb
thread:95465
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020222/msgs/95711.html