Posted by Just a Girl on January 30, 2002, at 0:30:03
I am not sure if this is the right place for this but...
Not sure where to start – this is my first post here although I have been here from time to time to read.
A few years ago I was put on Paxil for what I was told was manic-depression. I would stay awake for days at a time, not care about anything, go on spending sprees, etc.
Someone else (counselor) diagnosed me with psyclothymic disorder – I was told that was like manic-depression – but on a smaller scale.
I took the Paxil for about a month, didn’t like it & quit. I got rid of my hubby and things seemed to be okay. I had a lot of energy all the time – my house was spotless – I could get by on very little sleep. This all started about 4 years ago. (January/February of 1998)
In July of 1999 – my sister committed suicide. I only mention this because it seems to have a bearing & reference point on when things seemed to go downhill again for me.
After than I would get very moody, didn’t want to go to work, didn’t really care about anything at all. I moved a short time later & since then I can’t get my house straight even though I have been here for 2 ˝ years. That in itself is depressing believe me. But I can’t seem to DO anything about it, it is very overwhelming.I have lost a few jobs since then, due to the fact that everything seems to go fine, till the day I can’t make myself go to work. I can pull this off occasionally, but eventually I AM expected to go back. Sometimes I can…sometimes I can’t. This even happened to a job a love after I found out that I would be out of a job within 6 months due to the market of the industry I was working in. Within 2 weeks I could no longer go, it all seemed quite pointless. I was basically ‘scared’ to go to work – I just could NOT go. Hence I lost a great job that I loved. This was in Feb of 2001.
My Mom *forced* me to the doctor (family doc – not head doc) who put me on Zoloft, since I had no insurance the Doc gave me samples, I never went back for a follow up (no money) and quit taking it – I didn’t see where it was doing any good anyways.
In December 2001 I went back to the Doc (I had insurance again) and she wanted to try me on Wellbutrin SR – 300 mg a day total. Well – when I remembered to take it, it still doesn’t seem to do any good; I still stay up days at a time, or sleep hours & hours on end. My temper is awful at times and I cannot make myself do anything.
Last week I had a follow up with the Doc again, told her I didn’t think it was working – she added Celexa 20 mg to the mix. So 300 mg of WB & 20 mg of Celexa.
Of course there is the issue of remembering to take it. I am finding I forget things – A LOT. I am wondering if this is a side effect & can I hope that this helps? So far I see no improvement. I still can’t make myself do anything and today did not go to work. This is the third time in 3 weeks and I am ‘afraid’ of confrontation so I didn’t even call in. I am pretty sure that because of that, I will not go in tomorrow & the cycle will start all over again.
Anybody else been in a similar position and if so – how the heck did you get out of it?
Is there anything that can be added to this mix to make it work?
I just want to be normal is all.
poster:Just a Girl
thread:92122
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020124/msgs/92122.html