Posted by sid on January 16, 2002, at 7:46:53
In reply to Re: Anyone reached the feeling good stage ? » sid, posted by JohnX2 on January 16, 2002, at 1:18:44
Thanks, John.
Some of the veil I had is gone because I don't have major depression anymore. I recently started talking about it in the past tense and I am not so afraid of falling back into it anymore. That's a huge step because for years just talking about my major depression brought me to tears. The dysthymia I've had for my entire adult life, so I don't know what to expect if I manage to get rid of it... but if you say I'll know when I get there, I'll trust that for now. Simcha's mail gives me high hope because I am on Effexor XR too!I've started painting again recently (oil), which I've wanted to do for a long time but always found a reason not to. And I am more outgoing and in a better mood in general. But some negative thought patterns have stayed with me and I hope these go away with the meds. Also, I am rather solitary, and sometimes I wonder if it's really me or the depression that did that to me. I'll figure it out soon I hope ! When the veil lifts and I see the whale !
Thanks again, and I hope you find the whale too!
- Sid
> Hi Sid,
>
> 3 years ago I took St. John's Wort after falling
> into a severe depression. After 2 weeks I felt
> a sort of majic. Like a hand from the sky pulling
> me out of the gutter. Everything seemed easy going,
> I had this feeling of peace and well being, I
> felt more connected to other people. For the 1st
> time in a long time I felt like I understood how
> other people were motivated to do fun things in
> life like hiking, etc.
>
> Then disaster struck and the herb pooped out.
>
> To make a long story short, I was since diagnosed
> with bipolar 2 disorder, which really requires
> mood stabilizers to work. AD's will be erratic
> and poop out or drive me manic. I have been trying
> to hunt down that original St. John's Wort experience
> like Captain Ahab going after Moby Dick. It has
> been a long 3 yr struggle. I have finally made it
> I believe on my current med cocktail of topamax
> and lamictal.
>
> So the answer is, when it happens, YOU KNOW.
> If you don't feel a makeover then you may
> still be having some residual anhedonia.
> Unfortunately not everybody catches the whale.
>
> I really hope you harpoon your whale.
>
> Best regards,
> john
poster:sid
thread:90273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020116/msgs/90434.html