Posted by bob on January 14, 2002, at 20:55:22
In reply to How depressed are YOU?, posted by spike4848 on January 14, 2002, at 19:29:53
Spike:
I'd say that neither of your options are particularly appealling: "dead to the world", or "sad and crying". Probably everybody's depression is somewhat unique.
For me, off of all meds:
I get extreme despondence, waves of anxiety, a deep forlorn feeling, crying binges, and desperation. I can hardly bring myself to take a shower, let alone leave the house. I too sleep at least 14 hrs/day, and sometimes longer. The less I'm awake, the better it is. I HATE to hear the phone ring, and don't like to talk to people. I see other people doing things and getting joy out of small things, and I get very upset -- I personally see no way out anymore. I experience a lot of suicidal rumination, and sexual rumination/OCD. I also experience hatred and anger towards others for various and sundry reasons. Actually, this is on low doses of meds; on none, I'm not so sure I'd be here. It's that bad.
On meds, I experience induced fatigue and drowsiness. My anxiety eventually remits to the point that I care so little about things, I can't really function (as in hold down a job). My sleep cycle (circadian rhythm) gets shifted so that I'm staying awake almost all night, and sleeping well into the afternoon. I have done so much to try and counteract this, and have failed. I can't feel my genitals anymore, and I gain much weight. I don't get true joy from things anymore, despite the anxiety being gone. I sweat a lot, and am often overheated. I experience intense, sometimes horrific dreams and eat ALL THE TIME. I also have developed the "muscle discomfort" lately that I never used to have -- mostly in my back and extremeties. The significant physical discomfort and flattened, crushed emotion often starts me on a downward titration. I always think, "There must be something better than this." For me, I don't think there is.
poster:bob
thread:90162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020110/msgs/90192.html