Posted by MB on January 4, 2002, at 23:37:26
In reply to Re: GABITRIL (tiagabine) new anti-anxiety drug????? » MB, posted by Mitch on January 4, 2002, at 16:41:43
> Just before I was diagnosed BP I went to college the first time and made it through the first fall semester, but when Spring semester started I was in the middle of a very bad depression (late Fall-early Winter episodes I had been having since I was a little kid). I only made it to class half the time, then dropped out. I tried to go back a few years later and made it another two years (on Lithium+diazepam), then sank into another depressive episode in late November and dropped out again shortly into the begining of the next Spring semester (back in '88). I had a job offer from a high school friend to start working construction jobs and travel around a lot. It was so different from the life I was leading at the time (always broke-studying-depressed), I jumped at it and left school for several more years. I pretty much was off meds altogether for quite awhile-but construction work slows a LOT during the wintertime and coincided with my depressions and it fit well for me. Well, I got into a fight with my boss, lost my job, had a bad wreck, got very depressed, went back on lithium, and finally got leveled out again. This time Prozac had been around for a little while and my doc suggested I try some with my lithium. WOW, what a difference! I was back in school within a few months and stayed in there until I finished. I don't think I could have done it without the Prozac. As far as being able to juggle working/school, etc., it isn't as difficult as you might imagine, it is just very tiring. Semesters would end-I would just collapse and sleep 10+hrs/day for a week or two after finals. Once you get into the regimen of doing all that it becomes easier (especially when you are not severely depressed anymore!).
I also dropped out of college a number of times. I got great grades (most of the time) but I would always start self-medicating with the ol' recreationals and drop out. I got on medication, but it never really worked with the drugs (also, I probably had the wrong med combo). It wasn't until I had been "sober" for six months that I was able to go back to school, but at that point I had quit my meds cold turkey. I had been on Paxil for two years when I went to rehab. Once I got the booze out of the old system, the side effects of Paxil really kicked in (funny that they didn't kick in before that...) and I was sleeping 14 hrs a day and gaining weight like crazy. I'd go to work at 3:00 pm (sushi chef), work until 11:00 pm, get in bed by 12:00 am, and crawl out of bed at 2:00 pm. I got off the Paxil and it was like I finally "got my soul back". It was like part of the movie Pleasantville where the black and white town is infused with color. I had energy, finally, and I could eat a meal and feel *full* afterwards (what a concept). It wasn't long, though, before I was an anxious, depressed, raging freak again. Without the meds, I need about three hours a day where I can just sit, do nothing, and focus on calming down and not killing myself. This need for ~20 extra hours a week to just sit pretty much precludes the course load I would like to take. Plus, with the OCD, I spend too much time on projects (e.g., turning in 20 pages when the assignment only called for eight--this might be manic, too). Well, I hope that with the right combo and some good therapy I can have the stamina you did and FINALLY GET THROUGH SCHOOL!!! Lord knows it's been 10 years since I started out on getting a degree. Yikes.MB
poster:MB
thread:86944
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020103/msgs/88789.html