Posted by Simcha on January 3, 2002, at 8:18:15
I have a med-check coming up on the 8th of January. Here's the deal....
I've stabilized on 40mg Celexa and 200mg WellbutrinSR. This seems to be the "majic bullet" for me. I'm stable. I've experienced a break up on a vacation overseas and my OCD symptoms, while there is a tinge of it, have not come back full force. The depression is not there. I felt appropriately sad about the breakup and I was able to really enjoy the trip. Does that sound "healthy" or what?
Now that I'm feeling well I'm concerned that the pdoc might decide to reduce the levels of my medication. I don't know why I'm afraid of this. His initial assessment of me revealed that the believed that I would need medicine for the balance of my life. I believe that this would mean that he would not mess with a combo that is working.
The fear is an old fear for me. It goes like this:
"Gee... Things are going so well. When is the other shoe going to drop? I'm gonna pay for this happiness somehow with another bout of anxiety, compulsion, and depression."
I feel it in my very bones that I owe much of my stability to my medication. I know that I need it to have a life. My life is pretty terrible in the grips of OCD and depression. I do not want to live through another period where my life is intolerable because of the imbalance in my brain.
Oh well.. It feels good to get out the fear into this electronic realm.
poster:Simcha
thread:88608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020103/msgs/88608.html