Posted by Peter on November 28, 2001, at 23:41:20
In reply to Re: adderall update neuropsychological tests » Peter, posted by manowar on November 28, 2001, at 15:18:51
> Hey Tim and all:
yeah, my doctor told me that any SPECT results will not influence what meds he will treat me with. I've been going to him since 1997, and he's very established in psychopharmacology. He's had me on countless medications over the years, and sometimes his reasoning for giving me this or that drug are just too complex for me to follow. So I trust him, and he's very sensitive to my own concerns. As for my concerns, I guess my main one is just the fact that I'm still unsure about my diagnosis. And that's why the SPECT sounds like an interesting option. But he really believes that I'm mild bipolar/SP/possible ADD. But man, I remember when I first went to him in '97 I was just coming off of a 2 year hard drug spree-I went to rehab, was always relapsing, etc..in fact, when I first met him for my initial consultation, I was on heroin! I don't even remember it, but he ended up diagnosing me as bipolar/possible ADD (I don't even know what I told him!). So I left recovery programs, and I haven't touched illicit drugs in years. But, I'm still concerned that I've sort of been like a gineau pig with my pdoc-whenever I felt depressed, he'd throw in an SRI; whenever I had a panic attack or other anxiety, he'd throw in a benzo. Now, years later, I'm "sober" from illegal drugs, but I'm still on depakote, klonopin, and, most recently, the adderall. I'm just worried that, although this guy is respectable, the diagnosis he gave me might not be accurate. I don't have any memories of my being bipolar, although I guess alot of my past drug-seeking behaviours might have been due to hypomanic episodes. As for depression, I've had my share, but all the SSRI's seem to work for a short time, but end up dulling my emotions and causing me to relapse on drugs/alcohol. So I know it's all really tricky - my pdoc says even if I don't officially have ADD (since sometimes it's hard to distinguish adult ADD and bipolar), the adderall can help with motivation and mood elevation without leading to impulsivity and dulling my emotions like the SSRI's did. But I'm worried about taking adderall if I don't have ADD - it's a serious drug and it's not meant to be used for anything else. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a disorder. I've wondered how I would do on NO medication, since I was placed directly on depakote and other meds right after I came off of my hard drug years - so I haven't had much time in my adult life (I'm 25) without ANY substances in my body, prescribed or not. This is why I have periods of wondering about my diagnosis, the possibility of SPECT scans, etc..sometimes it feels like I'm on all this medication just because of the speculation of my pdoc. Sorry I'm talking on and on - if you had the patience to get to the end of this, you really don't have to respond. I just needed to vent, and this is a good place to do it.
Peter
poster:Peter
thread:84890
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011123/msgs/85477.html