Posted by Anna Laura on November 12, 2001, at 9:31:03
Hi guys
I just found out i'm HIV negative, after eight years of constant doubt and overwhelming fears. My ex-fianceč got sick and was hspitalized for meningitis back in 1997 but i had the suspicion there was something wrong with him before that.I didn't do anything about it because he turned out to be negative just before we met. i didn't know that that result could have been
mislaeding and he had to repeat it one more time, so i kept telling myself i was too paranoid. I had two years of sexual intercourses without protection and got pregnant of him at the end of the second year we were together. I had to take an
abortion cause the fetus was outside my uterus and i was going to die. The hiv test i had to take for the operation turned out to be negative, but i didn't repeat it cause i was seriously depressed and i was too scared also. That was way back in December 1992. By the Spring of 1993 my depression grew even worse and i got psychotic: my fear of aids played a major role since i was constatntly concerned.
I eventually recovered from the major episode but anhedonia persisted and even got worse. Needless to say, that constant fear was still there, haunting me.
Recently i read a scientific research paper on biopsychiatry.com: that document stated that there was evidence that chronic stress may induce anhedonia. What do you guys think? Could my residual depression have been caused by that constant stress? And if it's so, how can i set things back in order to discharge all the stress i've been loaded with? I feel like i poisoned my body with toxic waste: i'm always dead tired and apathetic. I took tsh test to see if i suffered from hypothyroidism, but the tsh levels turned out to be normal. Are there other possible pshysical irregularities caused by this long time distress that could have been undeteced?Thanks for listening
poster:Anna Laura
thread:83963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011104/msgs/83963.html