Posted by Jane D on November 10, 2001, at 17:32:27
In reply to Re: what do I do now?- update, posted by pathetic_n_useless on November 10, 2001, at 15:40:59
> what I wrote before I've left below. I've been on mirtazapine (remeron in Us, zispin in UK) for almost 2 weeks. I was feeling v suicidal on thursday last week so I tried to get an urgent GP appt. First available one was tuesday 13th but I said I couldnt wait that long so had a 5min one on friday. I had So I went Fri morning and I had to wait an hr and a half. It was the same
> GP I last. She said an immediate access clinic 5min appt wasn't the appropriate place to talk n when I tried to explain why I was told to go there she said she wasn't having a go at me about it.We kept getting interrupted every minute or so by various people like the nurse wanting advice. She said not much she can do even if I
> am feeling suicidal n thinking of doing something (and I was specific about what I had planned. and told her how bad I felt) She said it was my choice n couldn't stop me as I wasn't sectionable so she couldnt make me go to hospital but that she couldn't see anything positive about it- mentioned if didn't work and stuff like that.I
> said the only thing that I can see that is positive is if it works! Told me
> to try toget away for a few days ( I cant cos of my pets ) or just a day to take the
> focus off me and be with other people but there's not really anyone I can go to. and if anyone talks to me at all right now I just burst into tears. I mean I have trouble going out the front door cos of anxiety so suggesting going out for a walk isn't gonna work! She said we'd talk again on Tuesday but I mean what's the point?! She wont have any new suggestions and its only for 10 mins then. There's no way I'm seeing the same psychatrist before n there isnt another one. I'm just so fed up n crying all the time n I
> cant stop I hate it.I just don'tknow what to do.
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> > > Hi. I'm 24 yrs old. I've been depressed and suffered with PTSD and panic attacks for about 5 yrs. i saw a psychiatrist a few times but he decided I wasn't depressed at all but had a personality disorder (borderline I think). He says no medication will help me. I havent seen him for a year because he was judgmental and got angry with me for taking too long for an appointment (45 mins instead of the usual 10!) and wrote this in a letter to my GP and psychologist.We just didnt geton. Unfortunately in the UK there is a shortage of psychiatrists and there is no other one that I can see. My GP has tried 3 drugs (mirtazapine up to 45mg, paroxetine up to 60 and efexor up to 150) he now says he doesnt hink medication will help. I've been having CBT for 2 years but still feel just as suicidal and self harm a lot.My psychologist thinksI am depressed and have PTSD but not borderline personality disorder. I tried to hang myself and i told my GP. He just said go back to see him in a month and when I did he said there was no point in doing so if I wasnt on medication. I feel so alone and depressed and spend most of my time in bed because I just dont see the point or how things will get any better. I don't know what to do anymore.
> >Dear Pat
First the disclaimers. I'm not in the UK and therefore don't know the ins and outs of the NHS. For that you need to imput of the other UK posters. Pauls advice above sounded good to me. I think some things are the same in both countries though. The problems with the NHS sound similar to the ones we have with our HMOs. Some things that jumped out at me.
A borderline personality diagnosis often just means that you and the psychiatrist "didn't get on". I wouldn't take it to seriously. But, if it is borderline (whatever that may be), medication can work. That he was absolutely wrong about. There was a thread here a couple of week ago about this. Check the archive for October 15th.
Just because 3 drugs didn't work doesn't mean that none will. Not everyone responds to the same drugs or the same doses.
If all you have access to is a GP I think you can still get what you need. She doesn't sound like the easiest person to deal with but keep the appointment on Tuesday. She may in fact have thought of something new to say and you can use the time between now and Tuesday to figure out what you want from her. If another referral to a Psychiatrist is out of the question this can still work. Assume that she wants to help you but doesn't have a lot of experience with people like you or a lot of time to look things up. Her abruptness with you is probably because she is frustrated by the situation that the NHS has put her in, not because she doesn't like you. She may be willing to listen to any suggestions you make that will give her a way to help you without taking time that she doesn't have. And the great thing about medication is that once you find one that works it doesn't matter whether the doctor has any clue about why it works or what was wrong with you in the first place.
The hard part is going to be deciding what it is that you want to do. Your Psychologist may have some unofficial opinions on medication and others on this board definately will. I know this sounds unfair - you've said that you don't see the point anymore and you DONT know what to do. That's the bind I think most of us have been in. You have to decide what to do even though you're not able to. One thing that might work is to pretend you are making these choices for someone else. And just pretend that you believe me and the rest of the posters when we say that things will get better. Act as though you believe it until you really can.
JanePS What kind of pets do you have?
poster:Jane D
thread:81471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011104/msgs/83809.html