Posted by Rakken on October 29, 2001, at 18:31:36
In reply to Re: Best thing for panic attacks/extreme anxiety » Rakken, posted by Elizabeth on October 28, 2001, at 17:37:43
Sorry I wasn't very clear. I have been on Adderall for one month so far, and I was on Dexedrine for a month before hand. Other stimulants have not been effective for me. I have tried Provigil, Ritalin, and a few anti-depressants.
I was diagnosed with major depression a little over 2 years ago. I tried Prozac, Remeron, Paxil and Risperdal (for anxiety with the depression). I may have been on some other anti-depressants, but I can't recall right now. My pdoc told me that people who didn't respond to SSRI's usually responded to the tricyclics. So she prescribed anafranil and depakote. She had me get an EEG before I started the anafranil. It was slightly irregular so she didn't want me to take it. The EEG wasn't too weird. Some EEG expert said that some people just have different heart rythms or something. And that what I had could just be normal for me. Anyways, nothing was effective. The anti-depressants changed my personality a lot and more or less put me in a daze. I had a lot of trouble getting off Paxil and when the depersonalization from the withdrawal went away I was left extremely scared of anti-depressants. I don't like how they "work" or moreso don't work.
I have a lot of difficulty concentrating and staying awake. I also had a problem with motivation (not linked to pot which a few doctors have tried to claim, it was more connected to the depression). I wasn't very alert or intouch with the world before I went on Dexedrine/Adderall.
I am 18 years old now and feel that I have matured a lot. I no longer smoke pot or abuse drugs. The lorazepam incident happened exactly a year ago on October 31st. I had taken 3 a few days before and felt practically nothing. I got them from a kid at school. They were very powdery (white, little round pills). I didn't believe that they were real or that they would even work. So I took about 11 plus all the remaining powder and broken pieces. I didn't intend to overdose. I didn't even think they'd work. Unfortuanately for me, they did all too well. I woke up the next morning not remembering a single thing from the previous night. I went to the hospital and explained to a doctor what had happened. It was very stupid of me and I can't belive it was only a year ago. To me it seems like it was five.
I think that I have ADD (without the hyperactivity) with an anxiety/panic disorder. The Adderall may make the anxiety more intense, but it is the only thing I have responded to well. It has made my life much better even with the increase in anxiety. I take 10 mg of Dextrostat in the afternoon so that I can stay awake until I want to fall asleep (10 PM or so). That way I can control my sleep schedule. I take clonidine which makes it a little easier to fall asleep.
I have been looking around a lot for info on anxiety/panic disorders. I have high baseline and high anticipatory anxiety in between attacks. They can be brought on when any sort of attention is brought near me (not to me directly), or if I think that people are looking/talking about me. I am extremely self conscious. I also get them when I am alone worrying about things or thinking about future events. I have had them when I am with friends at work or when driving to school. I also have them sometimes when walking to a class or anticipating the end of a class. They are spontaneous it seems, but are very easily brought on when attention is brought near me.
I think that benzos are the best choice for my anxiety, but I don't think that my pdoc will consider them. I don't want something that have lots of side effects or changes my personality/perceptions. Not that the anxiety doesn't change my personality. It definitely does. I can recall my pdoc saying something about lorazepam when I visited her after the incident. She said something like, "I never prescribe those for longer than 11 or so days. They're muscle relaxants. Very dangerous." Or something along those lines. I think she is very close minded and stubborn in some ways. She asked if I wanted to go back on the Risperdal or the Paxil for the anxiety when I saw her last. I quickly said no and that I was afraid of Paxil. Her immediate thought was "oh it was the sexual side effects huh?" As though she'd completely ignored how I'd responded to it before hand. The risperdal never helped the anxiety before either. I just think she'll continue running around avoiding benzos as an option and I'll go on another long drug hunt where I go through failure after failure. I am worried that I'll go there and come home like always with nothing helped or accomplished. Then I have another month and a half before I can even see her again, and she is impossible to reach on the phone. And if you leave a message she doesn't respond for weeks. I don't trust her, her methods, or her opinions. I think I should get another pdoc.
Oh yea, the previous visit I had with my pdoc, I only told her aout the anxiety, not the panic attacks. But I still feel she'll keep a closed door to the benzos.
poster:Rakken
thread:82502
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011025/msgs/82613.html