Posted by Edward on October 24, 2001, at 15:19:19
My pdoc suggested venlafaxine as the med he'd most like to give me for my alleged depression. I'm very suspicious of meds at the moment for a few reasons: the lack of efficacy, the withdrawal syndromes (fluvoxamine withdrawal precipitated a suicide attempt, mirtazapine withdrawal made me ill and unable to sleep), the permanent and not necessarily advantageous changes to brain chemistry, and, of course, the side-effects, such as the weight that the mirtazapine added to me. I still weigh a stone more than I used to, and am no longer losing despite my diet: half a plate of dinner in the evening and a couple of glasses of fruit juice per day. Does anyone have experiences with venlafaxine that they could share with me? (I hear the withdrawal is one of the worst) I don't want to gain weight, I don't want to suffer physical addiction, and I don't trust chemicals that have been invented and tested by drug companies which have no interest beyond making money. The drugs simply can't be made effective, or the drug company would have no market. They can't sell the medication to people who have been cured; a cure isn't therefore profitable or worthwhile. I am aware that I am beginning to sound like the kind of paranoid conspiracy theorist I used to ridicule only months ago, but I can't find any evidence against myself. I don't know a single person who has recovered from depression through ADs. The clinical trials seem rather dubious, to lack depth and followup studies blah blah blah no cure for cancer will ever be produced by western drug manufacturers blah blah...I can't be bothered to go on.
However, I feel a deep need for something that will make me feel different, and an AD is a nice thing to attach one's hope to, particularly because it's so EASY. Does anyone have any success stories, preferably a change from being basically a miserable lazy fat disgusting leech sucking the blood from his family, friends and society (yup, that's me p.s.- dramatization, may differ from actual events) to becoming a content, functional, hard working and generally useful human being to encourage me? Or am I wasting time waiting around for a cure to an illness that I probably don't have, when I could be working on somehow improving myself as a person until at least I didn't have to be ashamed just to be alive? Perhaps happiness would follow. I have long felt the need to kick myself up the backside, get a job and do something with myself, but always find that I'm just too weak to do it. Does anyone know how to defeat the inertia?
As usual, apologies for the melodramatic and self-pitying nature of this submission.
Thankyou,
Ed
poster:Edward
thread:82205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011015/msgs/82205.html