Posted by Elizabeth on October 1, 2001, at 13:20:33
In reply to Re: more stuff » Elizabeth, posted by Lorraine on September 27, 2001, at 10:15:59
> > > I hate condoms. I think it is so sad that your generation didn't have the sort of free abandon with sex that mine had.
Among people my age there is a saying: "I don't want cheap sex. I want *free* sex."
> > Can I ask what you hate about them?
>
> I don't like the way the feel. Maybe they have improved the technology (how hi tech can it be tho?) since I used them (10 years ago).I don't know about that. They do have some now that are supposed to be quite thin but also strong. I think that _Consumer Reports_ even investigated different brands. < g > But in what way do they feel different to you? I'd expect a man to have an opinion, but most women I've talked to about the subject (surprisingly many) don't seem to care, so they insist on using condoms for safety reasons (mostly -- keep in mind, I'm at the tail-end of "gen-x" so these are people who don't remember much of the seventies or anything of the sixties). Some people just count on the pill and assume that their [allegedly] monogamous partners are "clean," but I wouldn't be willing to take that risk except under very unusual circumstances. (Anyway, I had a depressive relapse closely coinciding with trying the pill, which mostly subsided when I stopped taking the damned hormones, so I'm not keen on the idea of women just being expected to use it and men having to responsibility whatsoever for BC.)
> > Sure; there are neuropeptides called endorphins and enkephalins. Drugs don't really do anything new; there's a reason why we have opioid receptors -- because we have an endogenous opioid system.
>
> All the rest of it is just value judgement and as Shelli would say puritanical value judgement at that. Definitely not helpful.Well, the "reason" I gave is only the tip of the iceberg, of course. The opioid receptor was (I think) the first one to be discovered, and a while back there was research into "enkephalinase inhibitors" (which would work like MAOIs only on endogenous opioids instead of monoamines) which my s.o. was involved with. The problem turned out to be that there was no such thing as "enkephalinase." < g > (That is, there were enzymes that catalysed the breakdown of enkephalins, but these were general neuropeptide-ases, which would be much dirtier than anything we'd want to use on ourselves.)
> These cognitive therapy types are pretty wierd (based on an n=1). They don't really care about your "petty" wounds. They care about thought patterns that work or don't work.
I have a much higher n, and I agree.
> It's possible that I would want to see this guy individually--but I guess I would want to have a touchy-feeling therapist on the side to pick up the pieces from some of the realizations.
I can't deal with the touchy-feely types, myself. They nauseate me.
> He believes that Austin does not have a biochemical thing going on b/c his behavior only occurs in the family and not in school or with his friends. But then I know that sometimes we can just hold things together until we are in a safe place like home when things unwind.
I agree. My guess is that he knows little or nothing about the endogenous side of things (or he denies it because he sees it as a threat to him professionally), and he's making assumptions based on what boil down to old wives' tales. There are some kids who have problems that are exaggerated at school, too. Either way, it doesn't mean that it's "just behavioural" (an absurdity in any case).
> He views Austin as an alpha male who has learned to bully--which does make sense.
Oh jeez, here come the gender stereotypes.
> When I mentioned this to his therapist, he said yes that would work but you have to play your hands with the cards you are dealt and I am much smaller than my son, who towers over me.
I don't think you've mentioned his age. ?
> Anyway, I think that I will have Austin tested meanwhile in case there is something physical and not just biological going on.
What kind of tests do you expect will be helpful?
(I've gotten pretty cynical about such tests, especially in the last couple of weeks, after a battery of various tests failed to identify anything that might account for what a number of different doctors, including several neurologists and psychiatrists, feel was almost certainly a complex partial seizure.)
> He said another thing that was interesting to me. He said that we all have two brains--a mature brain and an immature or primitive brain.
I wouldn't put it that way, but yes, you could say that. The "lower brain" is very old, even reptiles have it. It controls emotions and other basic functions. The neocortex, unique to humans, is thought to be involved in our apparently unique facility with language, and probably a lot of other stuff.
> Austin's mature side is very highly developed (this is true--he is remarkably insightful and bright). His immature side though is very immature--like dealing with a two year old.
"When he was good he was very, very good, but when he was bad he was horrid?"
(I should be one to talk. My boyfriend said that talking to me in my (putatively postictal) confusional state was like trying to talk to a caveman or something. I got a real kick out of that.)
> When Austin is in the immature or primitive mode, reasoning with him is not effective (this is certainly true).
In spite of everything, our emotions can still overcome our capacity for reason. One has to understand this in order to have a feel for what mental illness is (IMO).
> My Nardil is making me anxious--hyperventilate and also lowering my energy level (or not helping it). I'm taking 22.5 in the am and 15 in the afternoon (3:oo pm).
Well that's good, you're getting up into the might-possibly-be-effective range. Try to make at least 45 mg/day a target (not necessarily a final target, since I think most people need at least 60, but a target where you should expect to be getting some benefit out of it).
> I never fully recover from the pm dose drowsiness and sludge through my evening with no energy and without much mood support.
I'm not sure if that's a result of the PM dose or if it's part of the disruptive effect that phenelzine has on circadian rhythms. I had nighttime insomnia and afternoon fatigue no matter how I arranged my doses.
> For the hyperventilation, I have been taking Neurontin and increasing it b/c the hyperventilation can be quite bad. So I'm taking 200 mg or Neurontin with my am and pm dose and 600 at night b/4 bed. Yesterday I substituted 1/2 tab of valium for the Neurontin--which knocked me out further so won't be repeated.
You know, the first time I took Valium (5 mg) it knocked me on my *ss too. Everafter, it has been completely nonsedating, even when I tried as much as 40 mg in a single dose. I guess my brain is pretty adaptive (a mixed blessing).
> Does this sound like a pattern that will ultimately yield success to you?
I don't presume to know such things. But I hope it will.
> It is getting hard to hang in there with this trial. Is is now day 18 on Nardil.
How many days have you been taking >30 mg?
> I feel pretty good in the morning only then sort of crash around 3 for the rest of the day.
Yeah, that's common with Nardil, the afternoon nod. I wonder if Provigil or the like would help. (If you do try it, be cautious, but I feel confident in saying it's definitely safer than amphetamine-like stimulants.)
> My memory is really terrible right now also--like losing my way on the way to the store not once but twice.
Hmm...do you think that's a problem with memory, or attentiveness?
> Anyway, I will see my pdoc next week, but I have always had a fairly fast response to meds. Effexor, being the exception, took 3 weeks for me to feel much better.
But it worked -- why did you switch?
> I'd appreciate your thoughts.
Well, you've got 'em. Hope they're of more help to you than they have been to me.
-elizabeth
poster:Elizabeth
thread:67742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010927/msgs/79982.html