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Re: Explaining or NOT Explaining Depression

Posted by Adam on September 1, 2001, at 12:05:06

In reply to Explaining or NOT Explaining Depression, posted by Elzabeth on September 1, 2001, at 11:39:28


> Bottom line, it's none of their frigging business --

Precisely. I have a senior scientist and a senior director above me on the totem pole at work. They know all the relevant info., and I keep them abreast of my progress/problems, if work is somehow involved. The rest...well, they gossip. Gossip is for people with nothing better to do. Sometimes I worry about it, most of the time, I don't. I pretty much vanished for a month when I was in the hospital, and gave no one so much as an excuse. I owe no one a damn thing. Those I trust, I tell. Those I don't, I don't, simple as that.

You might consider that you honor those who you choose to share intimate details of your life with. They may or may not appreciate that fact, but it remains a fact all the same. People at work are not entitled to know anything about you you do not wish them to. If they are put-off by your lack of disclosure, they bear a false sense of entitlement. It is the job of your supervisors to keep track of you. The only thing your co-workers need is to do their own jobs to the best of their ability. That does not involve keeping track of your performance or knowing about your personal life. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a meddlesome busybody.

So, what explanation to give? None. Why do you have to? If you miss a day or a function with your supervisor's consent, you're not doing anything wrong, shameful, or even all that out-of-the-ordinary. That's what sick days and extended leaves are for. If people ask you questions point-blank, and you don't feel comfortable answering them fully, say "it's personal," and drop it. If that isn't good enough for them, they're the ones with the problem, not you.


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poster:Adam thread:77277
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010828/msgs/77280.html