Posted by adamie on August 30, 2001, at 0:21:41
hi. I am coming off my current meds. Zyprexa and Wellbutrin. Just like effexor and paxil I have felt these meds were making my accutane caused depression worse. I wouldn't mind feeling the same type of depression going on these meds. I could wait out seeing if the meds work for me but when they make me worse I just need to stop. I am 3 days off zyprexa and 1.5 days off wellbutrin and already I am doing a bit better. Less mind torture. From all that I have read and learned about depression it seems not too significant. My depression is caused by accutane and therefor the usual depression rules such as meds working 70% of the time do not apply. And unlike common depressions mine is supossed to completely go away over time. Eighter months or a few years but it does go away for just about all cases with accutane caused depression. So I just need to wait it out.I dont know why meds make my conditon worse. When I am on them I feel like my head is warmer. My head is tighter. And just generally the depression is worse. Worse concentration, mind torture increases from very mild.
I have been dealing with this for 2.5 months. I have had no summer because all this time I have just tried to not feel too bad. Just trying to distract myself.
It was completely horrible in the beginning. I was feeling so completely horrible I had to push myself to even get out of bed. I was unreactive to just about everything and it was a struggle to even eat. I was losing a lot of weight at felt I might go anorexic. severe mind torture. Then it was getting better. up and down a bit. but never near normal. 3 weeks of this I had enough. And it was getting severely worse. I went on paxil. i actually went on paxil before like 2 weeks earlier than that time but stopped after just two days due to feeling that it was making me worse. So like most cases of accutane depression I felt maybe it will go away in 1 month's time. it didn't. so the pail i started again. i stuck with it for 24 days at 20mg. I was just feeling not well at all on it. The usual depression, not as severe as before I started but I felt very apathetic. Even less emotions than when I was very severely depressed. and in this time I still was very severely depressed just not as much. So i felt the paxil was maybe helping a bit overall. But at 24 days I was just tired of the paxil. hard to remember what I thought but I just felt I would be better off without the med because I was feeling bad on it. so I stopped. 4 days later it was like a miracle. I was starting to feel so good! old activities and enjoyment in everything I once did was returning! I was so sure I would fully recover. this lasted for 1 week or more. such an amazing difference. I felt near normal a bit. normal as in my perfectly happy self. then it suddenly went downnn. then up a little. then it just was going down again. I was beginning to feel hopeless and just wanted at the moment to start some other med. So I went on the wellbutrin which was supossed to be well suited for my specific symptoms of extreme inability to think and concentrate and lack of emotions. But also I went on zyprexa. anyway hat was 2 weeks ago. And I just couldn't stand the mild mind torture. I dont want to spend my days just trying to pass the time. But I am a bit better now. I am feeling more loving towards my fiance and very slight interest in things. I just hope the next few days I will continue to improve as I am off these meds. Such as what happened when I went off the paxil. Although I am on 5-htp for 3 days now. But I doubt it's going to do anything and I wouldn't be surprised at all if it's preventing me from feeling better. I will see. I have much hope that I will get better. Just as almost every accutane depression sufferer has. Even the most suicidal. Which reminds me of how being on effexor made me feel. quite the mind torture. I was actually begging my doctor to consider ECT or VNS if I wanted it in the coming days. but getting off the effexor greatly lessened the mind torture. Being on it my heart was beating so fast that I actually had some heart pain. And I was becoming like I was in the first days of my depression which was horribly severe. Back in those days it was like I was already dead. How could my fiance live without me? I would have in my mind as I would try to fight the mind torture.
but things have overall quite improved since those days. And will continue to improve. Most deffinetly. So I will just have to wait. One more med I will try soon. Adrafinil. Completely different class than these AD's and AP's so perhaps it may help but of course I dont expect it to. if my condition goes up only to fall again I will go on my meds again. perhaps they will have some prevention of worsening effect. I dunno. And then coming off them will improve my condition once again. I dunno how these meds are effecting me. But the main thing is that I will get much better. Life was perfect before and I will feel everything again. well goodnight
poster:adamie
thread:76921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010828/msgs/76921.html