Posted by sweetmarie on August 28, 2001, at 6:17:37
In reply to Re: Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS) and Depression » sweetmarie, posted by shelliR on August 27, 2001, at 17:00:06
> I really do think about you and hope that you are feeling a little more settled out of the hospital.
>
> ShelliHi Shelli
It`s nice of you to think about me. I`m not doing very well at all, I`m afraid.
The `support structure` has still not been sorted out - I`m waiting for an assessment for the day centre (and I`m not even sure whether they`ll take me on), I`m waiting to hear back from the Community Psychiatric Services as to whether or not they can help me, and my CBT doesn`t start till October. Basically, the hospital - > home transition has not worked out as I`d hoped, and I feel distinctly out on a limb.
There are a couple of other things too - my friend (one of my best friends) took an overdose recently, and went into hospital (Accident & Emergency and then the Psychiatric Ward). She`s now become completely psychotic, which she`s never been before. This has really affected me - I feel bad for her, and also the big `S` word seems more of an option as a result of what she`s done. I`m not sure that this will make any sense to you - I`m not sure that it makes a great deal of sense to me. She doesn`t want to see any of her friends either, and from a thoroughly selfish point of view, I was hoping that she`d be around so we could support each other (this isn`t my biggest worry about it, though).
The other thing is that my parents are going abroad on holiday for 2 weeks on Friday. Up until recently I thought that it was only 1 week (my mistake), and I`m really frightened, especially now that the `supports` I wanted to have sorted out are not in place. I don`t live with them, but it`s just the fact that they are nearby, and are currently my only support. I was seeing them 3 times a week, but ringing them more often than that. I`m totally dreading it. I`m trying to arrange for friends to come and stay for two of the weekends, but I don`t actually feel up to seeing either of them. They are both really nice blokes, but I haven`t seen either for about 2 years, and - well, I`m not looking forward to it to say the least. My sister`s currently in the States (West Virginia) for 4 months, so she can`t come up, and I can`t go down to her.
The thing that I`m concerned about is that I`ve `sunk` so badly over the last 2 weeks (since leaving hospital), despite `keeping busy` (e.g. I`ve been doing a walk with my mother every day). Having been on my meds for 4 months now (11 weeks at the optimal dose), I feel that `knock-backs` like these oughtn`t to set me back as badly as this. I keep trying to tell myself that :-
a) the things (that are going on around me) are NOT trivial, and
b) that I DID make some progress, and that I`m probably still waiting for the meds to do their thing (they say that meds generally take 8 - 12 weeks to start working, which begins again after each increment*). And, of course, they HAD started doing something (I don`t think that I was dreaming it).
I`m just really confused, down, and disheartened. I`ve been having days like I used to have before I went into hospital, which really frightens me.
Anyway, I`m sorry not to have better things to report. Hopefully I`ll pick up.
Thanks for thinking of me,
Anna.
* So I`ve been told.
poster:sweetmarie
thread:76433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010828/msgs/76689.html