Posted by Adam on August 21, 2001, at 10:55:45
In reply to Re: dating someone on zoloft, posted by vicki on August 20, 2001, at 18:37:30
Hi, vicki,
I won't give you my usual polemical dissertation on illicit drug use. The short version is I think responsible recreational use of a variety of substances is nothing to worry about, but all of these psychoactive drugs have the real potential for abuse. Not knowing your friend, I can't say if his use of cannibis amounts to a self-destructive attempt at self-medication with any certainty, but that's what it looks like, based on what you have written. It may even be possible that his use of cannibis is undermining what ever benefit he might derive from Zoloft.
This is just a stab, but if he is amenable to friendly persuasion, and desires to improve his quality of life, you might consider gently prodding him to get into some intensive therapy to ween himself off the weed and make a few beneficial lifestyle changes.
My younger brother was a heavy and habitual pot smoker for years, and it led somehow to the kind of anergy and social withdrawl that you seem to be describing in your friend. In my brother's case, life kind of smacked him into shape: He got his girlfriend knocked up, she decided to keep the baby, and suddenly he had to get his life in order. The fact is, my brother is a good person, with good intentions, and like many of us here in 'Babble, his biggest problem was being very unhappy. The way that he dealt with that unhappyness messed up his life to a large extent. It is only because he is rather fortunate in other aspects of his life (wonderful girlfriend/now wife, parents who finally learned how to intervene properly, inescapable and compelling responsibility), that he gave up his addiction and made some really big and positive changes.
Your friend can make changes too (if he needs them), I'm quite sure, and he needn't go through quite the trial-by-fire that my brother did. A good therapist who knows how to deal effectively with codependancy, could be just the thing to help him realise the potential that you clearly see in him.
Don't hesitate to write more. I don't claim to be an expert or right all the time or special in any other respect, but I've maybe seen some things like this before, and may have something positive to contribute. Good luck,
Adam
> Thank you for the insight Adam. He just told me last night that he has been on it for quite a while. He then told me that he hadn't been taking it for the last two weeks and felt that he needed to go back on it. He wanted to tell me, thank god because i could tell that something was different about him. He got deeply upset about some light incidents and very anxious about me and my feeling for his, very quickly. I have known him for a very long time, lost touch and just ran into him quite randomly. I've always enjoyed his company and we were both free at this point to get together.
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> Once he told me about the Zoloft i had reservations about continuing dating because of his other habits that i know can't be good for his psyche or a good combination with the drug. He smokes pot a lot and lives in an apartment that's quite dark and a bit dingy. It seems that he hasn't been taking care of himself the way he used to. i have a light heart and found that he was quite heavy in situations that dictated an easy going attitude.My point...I care for him very much very quickly and I believe that we can be great together. I need to know how to approach these issues with him...and beyond that he is a great person, if things don't work out that's ok...i want to know how to help if i can...to keep him on the medication and his spirits high. >
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> I took Zoloft for quite a while.
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> > "Behavior"? I'm not sure what you mean. If your new companion has an anxiety disorder, the "behaviors" he might display would be indicative of someone with abnormally high anxiety. If he has an obsessive-compulsive disorder, he might exhibit ritulized behaviors used to cope with obsessive thoughts. If he has an affective disorder, he might behave like someone who is deeply unhappy, someone who has trouble feeling joy even when good things happen, and perhaps reacts with hightened sensitivity to adversity.
> >
> > Zoloft is prescribed for a variety of psychiatric disorders. I think his behaviors, if untreated, might have been simply more intense or more ideosyncratic than the day to day behaviors you would expect any "normal" person to display. I don't think you need to be afraid of who he "really" is off of the drug. You might not even be able to tell the difference unless you knew him well before.
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> > As for regular dosing, drugs like this typically are slow to take effect, and if stopped, are relatively slow to lose effect. If he missed a dose on occasion, I would imagine nothing at all would come of it. If did not adhere reasonably well to his prescribed dosing schedule, then he would probably derive no benefit from the medication, and hence you wouldn't see any great change, whether he tood the drug on occasion or not.
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> > > i just started dating a guy who has been on zoloft for 2 and a half years. What type of behavior does zoloft help? What type of behavior can i expect if he doesn't take the daily dose?
poster:Adam
thread:75677
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010814/msgs/75777.html