Posted by alexamum on August 10, 2001, at 18:54:59
What is the difference between recurrent unipolar depressison and bipolar? I know, the highs! But seriously, I can't seem to see myself mirrored in psych literature. When you read about depression, there's barely a mention of recurrent types, particularly rapidly recurring depressions. When you read about bipolar, there's no mention of recurrent episodes without manias or mixed episodes. My doctor says I am not bipolar, but I have been shifting back and forth on the depressive scale for years now: primary dysthymia that has turned into recurrent depressions, modified by whatever medicine I'm on at the moment, and I've tried many antidepressants and antianxiety meds. Most recently: Effexor worked for awhile, but faded. Serzone was added, but brought out heightened irritability and impulsiveness and perpetual grogginess. Respirdal seems to have helped calm the rages. So now I am on small doses of all three.
What can I do to stay stabilized? So that my world doesn't fall apart with stress? So that I can predict how I am going to be feeling/reacting to things in order to make a commitment to long-term goals? So that I don't lose my sense of self along with my sense of cause and effect in managing my own behavior and actions? What used to be just periodically frustratingly futile interruptions in my life has turned into a way of life itself. I first sensed I need help when I was in junior high school, but didn't get it until I was in my mid 20s...I'm now nearly 50. I see now that I will never have a career or lead a normal life. I have been dx'd with ptsd and depression. Is the problem medications, my attitude, my intelligence or lack of it, my psychiatrist, that I suffered too long before being treated and that has made it worse, bad karma, or....what?
I write here because I don't know where else to turn for any scrap of new information or possibly...hope. I keep looking for the key to the puzzle and keep coming up empty handed. Can anyone relate?
poster:alexamum
thread:74539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010809/msgs/74539.html