Posted by Edward on August 6, 2001, at 14:49:06
This is something I've been wondering about.
I used to smoke pot for a while. I don't need to describe how it made me feel, except that it turned a dull, meaningless world into a bright, beautiful one. Weed made me truly happy for the first time since I was about 11.
However, after a couple of months of daily, heavy smoking, I started experiencing something different. I would smoke up, have the normal, sparkly, joyful experience for the first couple of minutes, and then, instead of the experience intensifying, the world would quickly turn greyer, literally, like when you adjust the colour control on your t.v. set. Depression quickly set in afterwards. I didn't feel stoned, just bored, restless and miserable. Time seemed to slow down, and I could do nothing to make it pass. None of the normal pleasures of ganja, such as increased enjoyment of music and powerful emotions were apparent. After a several times like this, I gave up, as I was becoming severly depressed. A couple of suicide attempts later and I was an inpatient at the hospital I had been attending daily. After a couple of months I am virtually my old self.
I can't find any research to suggest that cannabis causes depression. I am confused that at first with large doses I used to be pleasantly and overwhelmingly stoned for hours and feel refreshed in the morning, whereas now I have the above experience followed by long hangovers spent in bed wishing to die. Nobody I know has the same experience. I know individuals who have smoked similar amounts over much longer periods that me without these constant unpleasant trips. Is it possible that I was more depressed anyway, and the weed was just intensifying it? Has anyone else experienced this? Will I ever be able to smoke again (perhaps in more moderate doses)? I was taking fluvoxamine at the time, could this have affected things?
Thanks,
Ed
poster:Edward
thread:73822
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010804/msgs/73822.html