Posted by mandmitch on July 7, 2001, at 11:50:42
I have been on antidepressants since I was 17 - I am now 33. I've been on and off prozac for 12 years (intermediately taking temazepam, diazepam, librium, chlorpromazine (for 6 months, ten years ago), various tricyclics, cipramil, lustral etc.,. I suffered anorexia & bulimia from age 11-29 and chronic depression with a psychotic period. At 30 I had my child. I separated from her father and am now remarried. We've been together 3 years and my daughter is now 4. My moods swing dramatically over short or long periods - from elation to total blankness - with over emotional & erratic behaviour predominant. My husband, along with previous partners, hates me on prozac - although I feel great. I know that my behaviour is over the top, but I have no control over it,especially during 'bad'patches or on SSRIs (especially prozac). I want to feel good like I do on it without affecting those around me.
MOVEMENT DISORDER ALERT!...I first experienced this on prozac in 1996 - chorea & distonia like movements lasting up to 3 hours. This carried on for over 5 weeks - I was on prozac at the time. I was not under any undue stress at the time but the hospital (QMC, Nottingham, England) Neurology department put it down to my head - dissotiative disorder. I felt differenlty. I was prescribed diazepam to calm the muscles during a seizure. After a heavy & unusually painful menstruation, the movement disorder ceased. A few months later it started again. 6 weeks later, having been prescibed temazepam as well, I overdosed through severe desparation and discovered I was pregnant. I stopped all the drugs over night and the movement disorder stopped. I have since experienced a handful of similar episodes. I have since had very little faith in the medical profession. But my problems still persist. I am now recovered from eating disorders (prior to getting pregnant, and down to physical chest seizures during purging). I am now coming off prozac again or my marriage will end but I need help.I can't cope with any outside stress, hate being out of my "safe" environment of home and can't cope at all in social situations involving more than 2 (max) people (with or without prozac). I have long standing family issues which I thought I had dealt with, but seem to come out latantly in some sort of "freaky black-out" times - not necessarily linked to alcohol intake - although I admit that I consume more than the RDA, and have previously resorted to it to get me out of this hell. I now only drink wine - enough to calm me but not take over me.
I have heard of the new atypical drugs (clozapine,quetiapine,risperidone) which are not widely prescribed in our country due to the cost. I am dying for an accurate diagnosis and medication as my problem seems to metamorphise. I know I can't take prozac (or,possibly any SSRI) again but they have been the only drugs that make ME feel ok (despite the side effects). I have taken 4 overdoses before and never thought I'd contemplate it again after giving birth to my wonderful child, but I keep on getting the urge now - especially if my husband leaves me (cos of Prozac) and have taken myself off it today but will collect my next prescription in 2 days to store for overdose if I need it. Also thinking about getting a Librium detox (from alchohol)from Dr to store for same purpose - so peaceful - so selfish - I am so tired of listening to what I've done wrong. My daughter is happy, healthy and full of love. If I lose my husband (after losing so many others through my problem) I'm really not sure I can cope. She would have good people to take care of her. I would miss her, but HELP! I don't want to lose him & her to my problem. I desparately need the right help. Any advice please?
poster:mandmitch
thread:69283
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010701/msgs/69283.html