Posted by rmshed on June 17, 2001, at 12:17:48
In reply to New to Psycho-Babble, posted by BobJ1961 on June 17, 2001, at 7:32:48
> Hello everyone!
>
> I've been reading messages on this site for a month or so now. I feel as though I've gotten to know a lot of you, even though you don't know me < g >.
>
> Anyway, I came here because I suffer from severe depression. It's mostly treatment resistant too, and I've had it for 10 years now. I'm now 39 years old, and I can honestly say that I have not lived during my 30's! I guess that means that I've lost 25% of my life so far?
>
> In the beginning, I had excellent results with Prozac (the benefits lasted about 2 years). After that point, it has been a neverending struggle to find SOMETHING that worked as well. Ironically, Prozac was the first drug I tried, and the LAST drug that worked! LOL
>
> I've tried all the tricyclics, and none of those helped. In fact, most of them made me 10x worse (suicidal!) The newer SSRI's either caused extreme anxiety, sleeplessness, or psychosis. Wellbutrin didn't work either. I have not tried any of the MAOI's.
>
> I stopped seeing my psychiatrist about 9 months ago. All he seemed to be doing was trying new things on me at random. I concluded that I could do better on my own--I started looking at what drugs helped me in the past, and which ones harmed me. I came to some interesting conclusions.
>
> I even got desperate enough to try stuff that was illegal (like GHB!) GHB has worked wonderfully, but it's too short acting. I've been using it for about 10 weeks now, and I can already tell that I'm developing a problem with it. The "benefits" are lasting for shorter periods of time, while the side-effects are growing more severe and longer lasting (typical signs of drug addiction!)
>
> My next step is to wean myself off the GHB and then try L-Tryptophan (in the evenings). My theory is that maybe I depleted my serotonin "stores" through long-term use of SSRI's (namely Prozac). And since L-Tryptophan is a serotonin precursor, maybe it will help to replenish those serotonin stores?
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> I'd also like to try L-Deprenyl (because it has neural regenerative and/or protective effects on the striatal dopaminergic system). I feel this stuff might benefit me too, because I abused cocaine/crack in the early 90's. Perhaps I did some damage to my dopaminergic system?
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> I've also been reading the message threads on the use of opioids to treat treatment-resistant depression. I suffer from chronic pain too, so perhaps there's something worth looking into there as well?
>
> I also have Lyme Disease (had all the classic symptoms between the ages of 10 and 14 years of age). It went untreated for about 27 years. I had pretty good results with aggressive antibiotic therapy (after 12 months of continuous treatment) but I had to stop due to side-effects (problems with yeast infection). Since discontinuing the abx, all my symptoms have returned.
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> I fear that I've had Lyme Disease for too long now, and that it too might be "treatment resistant." As you can see, my medical history is complicated.
>
> I'm a single father of two young children (ages 7 and 11) so I'm DESPERATELY trying to find something to help my depression. When my depression is under control, all my other medical problems become more "tolerable" (and I can then engage in activities that are healthy, like eating right and getting regular exercise).
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> Anyway, nice to finally "meet" you all! I suspect I'll be hanging around here for a long time to come < g >.
>
> Sincerely, Bob :)I read your post and just wanted to say that I agree with your thoughts. I too have many other medical problems that I seem to be able to cope with when my medications work for my depression. I have been on tranzene, doxepin, zoloft, celeza, paxil, prozac, remeron, serezone (sp)lithium, wellbutrin---(never again), I have added cytomel to augment prozac-it didn't help. I am now adding effexor xr to my drug regiman of prozac and doxepin. In addition to xanax to control my panic attacks and anxiety. I have bounced from one drug to another also. I recently tried Kava Kava root for anxiety, it gave me horrible night mares and I decided I would stop medicating myself. I think that I might be immune to some of the drugs that I have taken for 10+ years. I am not ready to throw in the towel yet. I come from a family where my mother and father both have suffered from bouts of mental illness. My father was so depressed in 1994 that he became a shut in and began drinking so that he could relax, he drank so much beer that he depleted his sodium levels and had a major seizure, which left him in a coma and on life support. He had developed an ulcer from all of the worrying about his depression and the beer and alcohol probably caused the ulcer. That ulcer perforated and he had to undergo emergency surgery. He had to have 1/3 of his stomach removed and after surgery developed pneumonia and coughed his stitches open and had to had surgery again. He survived, but was placed in a mental hospital after his physical illness was taken care of. He didn't respond to traditional medication for depression and was given 13 shock treatments. Today, my father is a well man. The ECT was just what he needed. I have come to the conclusion, that when the time comes and I no longer respond to my medication that I may have to undergo ECT as well. I have suffered from depression and panic disorder and anxiety since I was 14, that was the year I tried my first suicide attempt. I fight what seems to be a never ending battle with my medication and illness. I have decided to do whatever is necessary to try and see if there is something to help. I know that there is no miracle cure in a pill, but I truly feel that when our brain chemicals do not function properly, then we lose control. I am glad that you posted. I really related to your situation. I am a 41 year old divorced female, I have no children, I didn't want any, I was afraid that they would have my genes. I have surfed the net for a website for depressed people and this is the best site so far.
I am able to function on a daily basis and you would never know if you met me that I have these problems, I have learned to hide them. It has been terrible to act happy at times when I am not. I guess life goes on.
If you ever need to vent, please feel free to email me.
Becky
poster:rmshed
thread:66847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010612/msgs/66879.html