Posted by mikes on April 22, 2001, at 21:28:55
In reply to Re: withdrawal from zoloft - need advice..., posted by mikes on April 22, 2001, at 20:22:36
Now that the horrible episode of dysphoria during which I wrote that last post is over, I can reexamine things a bit.
Unfortunately, nearly all of what I said in the last post is true, even from this less-emotionally-influenced standpoint. I am scared of what will happen when the ADs stop working for me and I need to stop. Will I be plagued by withdrawal symptoms for years on end? Will they even work for me at all? I will try a few more, like I said. But being that I have had adverse reactions (not related to side effects, but instead to my depression) to both paxil and zoloft at small doses, and I don't like feeling sedated, and I like cheese, I'm kind of running out of options.
JahL's response to my latest post, http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010417/msgs/60798.html, gives me some hope. "everyday activties became pleasurable & no longer a chore". I envy you, JahL.
Missy- you may also want to try starting a new ssri, even though you may be against it.
> I understand at least somewhat how you've been feeling. I have had episodes of intense irritability since I started the Zoloft, especially since I began the 50mg. It got so bad after 2.5 weeks on the 50 I immediately decided to stop, by tapering down to 25 for a week.
>
> I used some GHB last night and I felt better today than I have in a long time. I was motivated to do things which I have been trying to do for months. I felt no anxiety and was very confident. I would prefer a more serotonergic antidepressant effect, but this one is definitely acceptable. I'm trying two more prescription antidepressants. When that doesn't work, I'm just going to say fuck it and take GHB nightly. It works quickly and effectively. The withdrawal effects, if you get them, only last for a week. There are sexual side effects, on the opposite end of the spectrum. It doesn't cripple the intellect or cause sedation during the day.
>
> Sorry to turn this post into a pulpit for my GHB preachings, but I am just so fed up right now. With antidepressants, with my life. I haven't felt normal ever since I started combining 5-HTP and St. John's Wort 6 months ago (then on to just 5-htp, then paxil, now zoloft). The summer before that time, I had used all sorts of illicit drugs, with no bad effects to speak of whatsoever. When I stopped the drug, I was back to normal. I doubt this would be the same for everyone. Many people have reported lasting problems after using such drugs. But for me, antidepressants, both prescription and over the counter, are not working out so far.
>
> I would give everything to be back at this time last year, knowing what I know now. I wouldn't ever buy 5-HTP or go on an ssri. I would just stick with the illicits.
>
> missy, back to you, you sound like a very sweet person and I wish you didn't have to go through this. Try going back to the zoloft on your regular dose. Taper it off very gradually. Hopefully you won't have to deal with these symptoms anymore. I'm not sure if therapy would help if your case is similar to mine. My episodes were purely biochemical.
>
> > hello everyone...i'm a 24-year-old female that has suffered from depression for most of my life. i won't go into my entire history, but for the last year, i have been on zoloft. i started taking it after my doctor diagnosed me as having borderline personality disorder. it may have been a premature diagnosis, because i only went to him once (i really didn't like him very much, and i've had a hard time finding a doc that i do like so i kinda gave up and have been relying solely on the zoloft since then.) my symptoms never really improved - i continued cutting myself, still felt lost, empty, and dependent on others to define myself. i continued to drink heavily and i was still thinking about suicide just about every day. about 6 months ago, i began dating this guy - it was really really rough at the begining - constant fighting - but i stuck it out for some reason - maybe i got dependent really quickly and couldn't let him go, no matter how unhappy he made me. i'm not really sure. but recently things have gotten a lot better. we've been getting along great, but it seems like now, when we do have a fight, even if it's about something small or insignificant, i flip out, and become uncontrolably upset. i've been cutting myself A LOT, and have even let him into that part of my life - he's the only person besides my therapist that i ever talked to about that. i'm so scared all the time that he's going to realize that i'm nuts and he can do so much better than me, but he says he cared about me so much and that he wants to be with me in spite of all of this. he's so incredibly understanding. well last week, i forgot to take my zoloft when we went on a trip together, so i decided (with his encouragement) to stop taking it all together. i know this probably wasn't the best idea, but i didn't want to go talk to my doc about it because i don't feel like he really understands me anyway. so i went off cold-turkey, and things were great. we got along better than ever before, i no longer felt the jealousy i used to feel all the time, i no longer got upset about little things, i felt much more relaxed and centered than i had in a long time. the only bad thing was that i was having some weird physically side effects (extreme dizziness, headaches, hot flashes) - but i figured if i could just sweat it out for the next few days i'd be fine. on saturday night we got into a little argument, and i exploded. i was extremely mean to him, and then he left, and i went crazy. i pushed my best friend who was trying to calm me down, i was laying in the middle of the road crying and screaming at the top of my lungs....i have never felt so far removed from who i really am in my life. i wanted to end it - i went home and i was going to kill myself - when i got home, he was there, and i calmed down, and i was ok. but it's so scary for me to think about what would have happened had he not been waiting at my house for me. i am really confused and scared right now - when i'm feeling good, which is most of the time now (the past week) it feels wonderful, but then when i feel bad, it's like the worst i've ever felt in my life. what is causing these extreme highs and lows?? could it just be a withdrawl symptom? or do you think it means i definitely need to go back on the meds? i know i definitely need to start seeing a therapist (i actually got violent with my best friend!! that thought makes me sick - that i could hurt someone that cares about me so much) - but do you think there's any hope that i'll be able to eventually have a normal life without medication? i guess the best thing i can do right now is wait it out and talk to a therapist - but i just wanted to see if anyone had any sort of advice they could share with me. i want to always feel like i felt last week - normal. i most of all want it for my boyfriend and my other "loved ones" - i don't want to keep treating the people that matter most in my life with such anger and rage - i want to be able to make them happy and make them feel good - and i don't want them to have to worry about me like they do. sorry for babbling for so long...thanks in advance for listening :-)
poster:mikes
thread:60779
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010417/msgs/60803.html