Posted by Greg A. on March 6, 2001, at 15:57:05
In reply to Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms, posted by karenR on March 6, 2001, at 9:46:04
Hi Karen.
I posted in response to your question concerning anxiety and the difficulty in breathing you were having. I’m so glad to hear that you are getting some relief from Remeron. My thoughts about medication have followed a similar path to where you are now. I wanted to take something that would cure me, not sustain me on a drug. A one shot deal and then I would be ‘normal’ for the rest of my life.
I now feel that something is out of whack with my body’s chemistry. Whether caused by physical illness or the pressures and expectations I have put on myself . . . that no longer matters to me. And if lifelong use of medication to correct this is what it takes – well that’s okay with me. After all, how is that any different that a diabetic who takes insulin? This site has also given me some confidence that even if one medication fails, there are a plethora of others for me to try. Compare to the despondency and anxiety I have felt, the side effects of most meds. are minimal for me.
You mention that for you it’s anxiety first leading to depression. I thought that too about myself. Now I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite. The anxiety is a component of depression for me. That was a tough one for me to admit. Men, especially, don’t like to admit to a lot of emotions. Anger is okay, but grief, or sadness tend to get hidden away because they are not part of a tough guy image. For me, I could never admit to not being able to do something. In fact I had to be the best at it or I was not happy. As a result I was unhappy with myself a lot of the time. I covered my anxiety like I had the plague . . . and the more I tried to cover it the worse it got.
I now admit it. I am not comfortable in certain situations. I can’t speak in front of a group of people – in fact I dread it. I don’t so much avoid these situations now as I admit that I feel I cannot do it. Others are amazingly helpful and I find that as my expectations of myself become more reasonable, and others are in on the “secret” - I can do some of the things I dread. I wish it were easier, but at the same time I am no longer trying to be something or someone I am not. For me, that’s a big step. I remain frustrated that there seems to be a biochemical piece out of place in me that causes me to become depressed and anxious but my coping mechanism, now, is not to try too hard to cope. It makes life too tough for me.
You can’t imagine how good it feels to hear someone say they have found significant relief from a problem I know very well. And from the sounds of it, you helped yourself in record time. Keep at it . . . you deserve to be well.
poster:Greg A.
thread:55703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010302/msgs/55748.html