Posted by HenryO on January 29, 2001, at 3:30:47
You may have read my post on Ritalin Prozac Pindolol. It doesn't matter if you haven't. That cocktail is efective to a point. But in the last ten years of strugling with pharmaceutical help for my depression. I have rarely and always briefly felt the kind of relief that one imagines depression medication ought to, might, provide. As they say, "in a perfect world". So the last time I am at my doctors office, I tell him, "things are good, I am not flat on my back. After all I don't expect euphoria. I am surviving" To which he says, "No, we do expect euphoria. You are supposed to be feeling great."
This is a big surprize to me. I thought feeling really good was a bad thing maybe. Or at least not something to be reasonably hoped for. I mean I am far enough into the whole medication thing that I don't even talk about it in some circles. Yet pills have been a godsend for me literally. I am way past any thought that maybe I am weak or character flawed. I have experienced first hand relief from debilitating depression through medication when years of talk therapies just compounded things. That's very confusing.
Yes, I believe in "issues" but you can't cope with content of life experiences if your physical organs like your BRAIN are on tilt.
OK so given that I feel better on my "cocktail" Ritalin Prozac Pindolol. And I that I am not going for mania. I don't believe, No. I am certain that I don't feel the motivation and the well being that is normal for humans to feel.
So what now? I have decided to forge ahead. I feel better than I did. I am mostly not incapacitated by my depression. But I am still scrapping by. I imagine more. A bigger fuller life. Less sleep, more joy. I want to thrive not just survive. I'll take survival if it comes down to that choice but I have the sense that wanting more is not greed but health. That is why I am begining to take Reboxetine/Edronax. I will try anything that seems to be reasonably indicated. I feel just good enough lately to start being pissed off that my existance is so limited. There are many many drugs that I haven't tried. There are many that I have. But what else is there to do, maybe somewhere there is a medication that will lift me closer to feeling the way I believe I am supposed to feel. I trust my perceptions and I get corroberation from professionals.
This whole rant is nothing more than an introduction to my posting my recent experiences with Reboxetine.
I ordered 60 tablets from "anti aging systems". It was $78.00 plus shipping. The package itself seems to have been mailed from Germany which I think is strange. It took three weeks to arrive. It comes in a small box in little sheets of blister packs. The pillis are 4mgs. The pills smell faintly like bug spray. It is manufactured by Upjohn. I break them in half. So I am starting out at 2mgs per day. It seems to be stimulating. As I understand it the drug is sort of a "dopamine reuptake inhibitor" that is probably a gross misconception maybe somebody can enlighten me further. I feel more medicated or buzzed actually than I am comfortable with. I dislike and avoid any med that does that in the slightest degree. I hope any sensation of that will fade rapidly. I don't know what effect it has on other people or women, but on me, at least in the few days since I began taking it, it has effected my genitals more than anything else. They behave as if I were in cold water. There have also been some other curious dick related symtoms, if I may use that phrase. The somewhat uncomfortable sensation of being backed-up or frustrated in a seamenal sort of way. If you are female I am not sure what corralation I could use. It is uncomfotable put not overwhelming. It is sort of at the threshhold of noticeability. Actually as I sit here typing it is definately uncomfortable. Its odd that is for sure. I know this is weird but there it is. It is disrupting my sleep patern somewhat but that is par. My sleep paterns are wacked anyway. As an anti-deppression med it is way too early to say but I am hopefull that the side effects will wane and I am optimistic that the benifits will increase. I do feel more energized which is good. Lack of energy and motivation are huge components of my depression. I'll continue to post updates, not that anyone other than me cares. And I want you to know that I am keeping my doctor in the loop.
All responses are much appreciated.
poster:HenryO
thread:52846
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010122/msgs/52846.html