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Re: Question for JohnL, AndrewB, and others

Posted by JasonL on October 2, 2000, at 17:43:46

In reply to Re: Question for JohnL, AndrewB, and others, posted by AndrewB on October 2, 2000, at 14:30:23

> Andrew,

Thanks for your reply.
Symptoms: anhedonia, hyper-focus (in this case, on depression)apathy towards life, extreme sense of being removed from the world(but can study about drugs like a mad man)confusion about life, see no future, ect.

Looking back on my life, I think I have been ADD for a long time. Previous trials of anti-depressents Serzone, Effexor, Remeron, Welbutrin, Lithium, Zoloft have not been successful. Arguably, I never reached the full therepudic doses on most of these drugs.

The longest I have ever been on ADs was two years ago, and it was Welbutrin. I took it for 5 months and didn't notice a thing.

Five months ago I returned home to St. Louis from LA. I came home because I was making no progress and getting worse fast. Inital trials of Celexia made me incredibly suicidal in less than hour. (though I was already having suicidal ideations before I started the Celexia). Interesting, because I had tried celexia 10 months ago with little response, good or bad. Possibly by the time I had gotten home this time around, I was in such a state of panic that I had an over production of certain sites causing the reaction?

I was then put on lithium. I hated the drug, but interestingly, I would feel almost normal a few hours a of the day as the lithium was coming out of my system. But I really most of the day. It was like my body liked the lithium at certain low doses...I used to think that if could get a propper delevery system with lithium so as not to create the peaks and valleys, then I'd have a drug.

Next up: Zoloft for a couple of weeks. Not much help. Dumped it and decided I would not take meds...they had never worked.

Two weeks later I almost went to the hospital. I was in really bad shape. The docs put me on Serzone and Welbutrin. Currently, I am on 400mg of Serzone, 300sr Welbutrin and just today, they bumped me up to 40mg of Ritalin.

Like many on this board, I am fascinated with the DA problems. I think I really have problems in this area. As I said earlier, I have almost this insaitable drive to find a cure for this experience I am going through, a drive that drives me, that I am not in control of...this is what I liken to the hyper focus/ADD problem. I'm not ADHD, never been loud, violent, ect...

Its like I need something to calm me down and remove some of the hyper focus, but something also to bring me into a more natural kind of drive? Hard to explain.

I would say (soory to ramble) that the clues lie in the DA systems...also, as a side note, I realize that DA failures can be patchy...sometimes causing ADD, sometimes narcalepsy...I am twenty seven and here is an interesting thing, I've always had this kind of walk where I wasn't very smooth, kinda jerky. Today I was thinking about my walk in terms of Parkinson's and jerky movement and related DA problems...

I have selegiline and adrafinil waiting to be used.

That's the scoop.

Thanks for listening.

JasonL


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