Posted by shar on July 21, 2000, at 22:33:48
In reply to Re: New diagnosis today-re DID » kerryB, posted by shellie on July 21, 2000, at 19:52:19
Kerry/Shellie:
I'm wondering if there isn't something (a syndrome or disorder) similar to but less pronounced than DID? I remember people talking about "splitting" or being "fragmented" --but not in the sense of having a fully formed, other personality. It was more as a cover for the "self" for protection, like a defense mechanism.
This would mean that in certain situations or with certain people, the individual wears a mask that allows the "self" to recede to some extent and the mask carries on.
Also, I've heard that abused kids can be extremely adept at reading people, becoming who and what people want, so to avoid abuse. This carries over to how the kids relate to people other than abusers because that's what they've learned. It's not a conscious kind of thing. It is the safe thing to do, to put the "self" aside.
Kids experience terror when very young and unable to trust and depend on their caretakers. Yet, still living with those caretakers some kids must be able to find a way to defend the "self" on a day-to-day basis. I think the receding self (my term for it) is one way it happens.
Ie, I remember VERY little of my childhood. I have always said we never had dinner together as a family. I have no memory of dinners except when we had company (a few times). I said that to my sister once, and she said we had a lot of dinners, most every night. I was amazed. I asked my mother, and she also said yes, she cooked a family dinner every evening.
I still do not recall regular family dinners. My therapist said *I* (as myself) was not "present" because it was too painful. My sister indicated that the dinners were times when our parents had a captive audience for psychological abuse.
So--I know I was there, but I had some way to avoid the abuse by not being "present" yet still interacting enough (evidently) to not stand out.
I wonder if Kerry has these types of "milder" personality changes, that may not really be DID but have some similarity to DID?
Or, maybe I know nothing! Just my thoughts.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:41087
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/41151.html