Posted by kerry B on July 8, 2000, at 5:32:16
Hi there Rick,
Got your post and I'm glad you are trying to see the positive things in everything!!!!! It does help and when you think back to where you were 2 years ago, you have made progress! As to happy products, if you look around when you are shopping and see a "happy or positive" label, it makes you get through the shopping easier. Another thing I do, well I try to do each day is give someone a compliment. For eg: The grocer store I go into, well the woman had all her long hair cut off and I looked at her and told her how much it suited her (it really did) so she was really happy and I was really happy because she felt good and it reflected back onto me. It's good to make someone feel good each day then you feel better too.
There are many things you can do to stay positive. I try out different things all the time and I guess that's how I get through, but, I still have my down periods and I just have to acknowledge them and go with them. Maybe you could buy your girlfriend a bunch of flowers just to see the light shine in her heart when you give them to her. It makes it easier if you have a partner, because it can help with your well-being by doing little things you know they would like and that makes them happy and you also. (Hope I am Making sense).
What was this psychological test you had to do? Was it the 367 or so questions you had to answer? All these tests are tough because in the back of your mind, you're thinking, what are they going to find, will it be satisfactory? But Rick, from the way you write and the way you think, as far as I know you, you will be fine. Don't know, but maybe they might pick something up about your ex from this test? That would be good if they could see what was behind her mind!!! How her mind ticks, you might be surprised!!!! I do hope your parents get to see your children because grandchildren are special for them and for them to miss out on them growing up is heartbreaking!!!!
Stay cool until September, I know it is a way off but just think, in that time you can get organized, establish yourself and be optimistic that you will have your kids. Look around the shops at what you would want your kids to have etc and just focus on the brightest outcome because I feel that everything will go your way.
Your ex would have to slip up or be discovered sometime so hang in there!!!!!!!!!
I'm thinking about your first meeting. It will be awkward, seeing as the mother has wiped you, but just be yourself, probably don't be physical with them but just be yourself and speak in the language that kids can relate to. That's what I did, just ask simple questions as if you are their best friend and believe me, they will become attached to you and love you.
it would be great if their mother wasn't around while you established this bond because you will feel more at ease, actually, it might be best if you are alone with them or maybe with your parents, grandparents especially grandmothers have that special nack with kids.
Anyway, we'll work on this until the time comes.
So have you had a good day today? Found something nice and cheerful to focus on? I hope so.
I can't believe how much our lives parallel. Maybe we were meant to meet here so as we can support each other, me already having been through this!
Don't take the last 2 1/2 years as a waste of time because it's all been a learning process to strenthen us so as we can tackle the next obstacle that comes along, don't you think? I look at it that way.
Gosh a week ago I couldn't even function and they were ready to lock me away but now with the right meds I'm feeling better, it'as all just a process we all have to go through, I believe this anyway.
You can be SURE that I will be praying for you, I said another one today for you and the kids so you have my prayers and I'm sure the prayers of everyone else!!!!!
Well Better go as I'm hungry. REALLY feel like PIZZA but I just can't have it! drats!!!
Hope to hear from you soon when you have time O.K.
Look after youself till then and don't let anything stress you out. Just take each day as it comes, don't think about tomorrow or yesterday, just think of today and what you have to do. Everything will fall into place, you'll see!!!!!!!!!
Bye for now,Kerry
poster:kerry B
thread:39775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000708/msgs/39775.html