Posted by SLS on June 22, 2000, at 16:07:29
In reply to Re: To Scott aka SLS » SLS, posted by CarolAnn on June 19, 2000, at 16:52:38
> Hi Scott,
> You know, I don't even know what I want to say. I just wish I could make you feel better. Your battle with bipolar, makes my depression and ADD seem like petty complaints. It is truly amazing to me that feeling as badly as you do, you can still offer so much in the way of support and knowledge here at psycho-babble.
> Okay, I know what I really want to say now.
> Thank you. Thank you for being kind, sensitive, and willing to overcome your problems, in order to share knowledge which has helped many of us here at psycho-babble. You're da bomb!(teenage slang for "the greatest!)))CarolAnn
Dear CarolAnnNow I don't know what to say.
You have done so much for me by writing this. You can't imagine.
Nobody's mental illness is petty. Yours is the worst for you. That's bad enough to be bad enough.
I really needed to hear this. I wish I had seen your post a few days ago. I feel guilty for not having acknowledged it any sooner. It was wonderful.
I have been feeling pretty bad over the last few weeks, and particularly awful since Sunday. I experienced a nasty reaction to Neurontin, which has taken days to dissipate. It was close to being excruciating. During this period of time, I was grateful to be able to say that I have felt worse (once or twice).
I have had a rough time emotionally. It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to avoid getting depressed (sad, despondent, demoralized, hopeless, catastrophic, and suicidal) about being depressed. I am burnt-out. We really do need to find more words to provide distinctions between depression and depression. I think the French do a pretty good job of this. I actually became quite hysterical Monday morning. I was left hyperventilating while trying to speak to my mother on the phone. I was unable to utter a single word for several minutes. I feel traumatized. I just can't believe this is really happening to me, even though it has been for over 20 years (only 18 years of treatment failures). Gosh, I can really lay it on thick, can't I? Things do kinda suck, though.
I have been thinking about participating less here on Psycho-Babble. I am overwhelmed by the volume and I don't seem to have much to say. Earlier today, I could not read two sentences. My self-esteem has suffered because of how much my level of function has deteriorated. I don't feel that I have much to offer anymore. I feel very small.
Okay, I know what I really want to say now.
Thank you.
Love,
Scott
poster:SLS
thread:37421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/38136.html