Posted by shar on June 17, 2000, at 4:21:28
In reply to Re: I agree Cam/note to ToDD, posted by claire 7 on June 16, 2000, at 14:00:38
>
This must be a pretty significant fear if you (and shar, and Janice) would rather respond with cruelty to a fellow human being than risk being taken for a fool.
> The fear of appearing foolish is a major disabler.C -
While I do not agree with your interpretation of the BoBB's situation, I have wondered what his/her/??? actions stimulates in me. What buttons get pushed and why.What I'm writing here are my opinions, thoughts, ideas, and such--to which I am supremely entitled and would prefer not to be "BoBBed on" for them. If anyone disagrees with an idea, and they can write about the idea (not the person), feel free!
RE: Fear. I have already told BoBB himself I am afraid of him. That means--at the very least-- I don't trust him to stick to the topic and keep his vitriol to himself; I don't want to be the target of it. I have an abundance of vitriol in my life, and that isn't what I hope for when I post here.
I may be wrong about the particulars of BoBB's tribe, ie, who is or isn't an actual member; but the general idea that he has a tribe, I believe. If it is not true I won't feel fooled or tricked, I will think that my interpretation was very interesting. How I put the evidence together and reached my conclusion would seem worthy of reflection.
I'm always the one in class who will ask the stupid questions. It doesn't bother me if every-one else gets it, but it bothers me if I don't get it, and I have to pass a test on it (I learned this important lesson my first semester of grad school). So much for fear/humiliation in this setting.
I also wonder why BoBB bothers to do all this (expend all this energy) on this particular site, where people come to learn and share and create sort of a generally supportive "don't kill yourself today" atmosphere. His posts are very "in your face" and aggressive, and I wonder what he gets out of that behavior with this group (many of whom are exhausted, worried, anxious, dealing with very upsetting problems).
Then, I'm curious if he really would like to be a part of the group, instead of being on the outside looking in, or disagreeing with things or taking great pains to provide scathing content analysis over semantics in other posts? I wonder if below the surface he could stand some comforting.
Unfortunately, I don't know. He's not saying. Although some of his other voices hint at that. I only have his words on this board to learn about him.
It seems quite chaotic to me (the whole "who's who" thing) and maybe he experiences internal chaos that he doesn't want to reveal here. Who knows?
Some people get satisfaction from attention gained by causing disruption, and that's the unidimensional (words on paper) feeling I get about BoBB. There may be felt power in being able to get angry reactions from people he has shredded (with seemingly no constructive point). Maybe not. Who knows?
The Shadow knows. Maybe BoBB et. al. knows. I don't know but I have opinions based on what he chooses to reveal here.
If he were talking with anger about his own loss or grief or being betrayed, I think I could honor that much more than the spew he usually sends. If he wants to connect with some of this group, he could always add to the tribe and ask for what he wants (encouragement, advice, technical information) in a civil manner. I wonder how he would feel if he got a positive response from someone who cares.
Finally, I haven't been cruel, in my own estimation, to BoBB or his minions. I have made it plain what I think of it. How young it seems, how thinly veiled some of his motives are, etc. I didn't say he was awful as a person. What he writes is sometimes pretty fully awful.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:36179
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000610/msgs/37611.html