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Re: Full remission the illusion of control

Posted by Libby on June 16, 2000, at 11:04:52

In reply to Full remission is a dream - disagree, posted by Tom on June 15, 2000, at 11:23:54

Tom, these rules sound good, but I don't believe following them is an assurance against recurrent bouts of depression. It seem to me that what they do is help to restore a sense of control for depressed patients - and having a sense that one's behavior influences outcomes is important
to restoring depressed patients to "normal" mood & functioning.

When I first read what you wrote, I tended to
strongly disagree because something about them didn't seem to fit my own experience. I won't chronicle the year prior to the onset of my latest bout of severe depression, but I will summarize. Three deaths very close to home,
all young people, all accidental. A best friend who experienced a psychotic break because of two of these deaths. A newly disabled mother, a severely retarded sister, and severely depressed daughter to care for. A reorganization/forced job change at work. Loss of career status and pay. Emergency surgery. All within a nine month period. I was hit constantly with things I couldn't control. When I went to therapy, I was taken there. Didn't think I had a problem because I was functioning ok. Everything was done. Everybody was cared for. I thought if I was patient and worked harder, things would get better, but hard work didn't seem to matter. If I worked hard and got one thing taken care of, another popped up and demanded my attention.
Eventually, I learned that my behavior didn't matter. The illusion that if we do "X" then "Y" will happen failed. The majority of the situations that led to this bout of my depression were NOT under my control. As I understand it, this kind of learned helplessness response is a basic characteristic of clinical depression.

I read about a study performed to test a theory that depressed patients tend to UNDER estimate the degree of control they have over their environment. To their surprise, researchers found the depressed people were actually more accurate in estimating degree of control. It
was the control group who consistently OVER estimated their degree of control. I guess
the major finding here is that restoring the illusion of control is important. That's
what your suggestions address.

However, once a person (like me) has been in situation after situation where the illusion has been completely shattered, then what? I don't struggle with the problem of HOW to restore it. I'm dealing with the question of whether it's even PREFERABLE to restore it. In my case, my mom has recovered for now, but she will get sick again and when she does, I will lose the ability to control my life. That's fact. Isn't it?
So why bother trying to rebuild a life based on the illusion of control when I know the truth may come along at any moment and rip the whole thing apart again.

This is how my depressed brain works after a year of medication and therapy this time - five years of therapy and medication total.

For information, I am a chronically depressed person, with three major depressive episodes in the past fifteen years.

Thanks for your consideration...
Libby

>My three rules for finding your deepest self and "curing" your depression:
>
> 1)Be 100% honest with yourself.
> 2)Don't be afraid to feel what your feeling.
> 3)Know yourself, accept yourself, and then learn to love yourself, even if your experiences don't lend themselves to a perfect image of yourself.
>
> Once all walls have been brought down then permanent healing will eventually come. Meds help until you get to that point.
>
> One person's opinion.
>
>
>
> > > I would say that if you have had several bouts of depression that your depression is chronic, ie for life.
> > >
> > > Good morning James,
> > >
> > > Hope everything is well with you.
> > >
> > > That is a powerful comment my friend, and I must say that I disagree. Having watched my Grandfather battle Cancer, and having worked with Cancer patients who have had several bouts of the illness and then go into full remission for the rest of their lives, I've seen that these things can happen, and believe that it has to be possible with depression as well. I know I'm comparing apples and oranges here, but...
> > >
> > > Forever the optimist, I suppose.
> > >
> > > Greg
> >
> > James here....
> >
> > I would point out that remission in cancer is caused by cutting out the cancer or killing it with powerful drugs. It is standard to call depression cronic if someone has several bouts.
> > It is important to realize that depression often comes and goes and if not treated it comes back stronger each time, getting more diffucult to treat. It is a powerful statement but it is accepted that people who have had several bouts of depression in their life are cronic.
> >
> > james


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