Posted by tina on June 12, 2000, at 14:42:53
In reply to Re: To KATH....having a so/so day....(long), posted by tina on June 12, 2000, at 11:37:25
Kath, just read your "Fellow Ontarian" thread to janice. I didn't know that you were afraid of bears, I'm sorry about the watch out for bears crack in my previous post. Hope you have a great time anyway. I'm sure you won't see any bears.Take care--Tina
> Hi Kath--You are so brave to be going camping alone. I used to love camping but now I'm a bug freak so I don't spend much time outdoors in the summer. I am so happy you finally know for sure what was wrong with your son and he's improving on antibiotics. You must be able to get some much needed sleep now. Is he going to have the tonsils taken out after the infection has passed? It's a very good idea to put good feelings into your diary along with the bad. I forget about the good ones too often. I can remember every negative detail about something but forget all positive aspects. It's weird.
> pdoc is what I use to refer to the psychiatrist. I just assume that it means the same thing here at babble. I think it does.
> The new meds I'm taking are Manerix and Rivotril. 3 times a day each until I can figure out if I need to increase. Still nauseous occasionally but getting better.
> My husband is still pretty sick. His face is swollen from the sinus infection and he's in pain much of the time. Still he doesn't complain and never takes a day off work. I think he's nuts.
> I do live in Ontario--Ottawa(a suburb of it) actually. Where are you? I've never been as far as Parry Sound but I here it's some beautiful country. I hope you do have a great time camping you courageous thing and definately come and post when you get back. I want to hear all about it. Taking a camera I hope? Watch out for the bears, put your food in the trees. Will miss ya but a commune with nature is very soothing. Enjoy. thanks for writing back--hugs, Tina
>
>
> > Hey Tina - Glad to hear from you. I must be going blind too! Here it's the 12th & you posted this on the 8th & I just saw it - lucky I went back to the last archive! I'm going to answer your post "throughout" your post....... ->
> >
> > Hey Kath: Sorry I haven't responded to your post, I think I'm going blind. I didn't even see it. I'm glad your son is improving, how is he today?
> > ........... My son's finally improving. Finally took him to the doctor Friday & it turns out he has SEVERE tonsillitis! The doctor said (peering at me) "Is this the FIRST TIME he's seeing someone about this???!" I said yes, because we thought he had the flu that my husband & I had but part of me FELT like a dumb, stupid, neglectful Mom - how could I be so neglectful? I added that one to my "feelings diary" for sure. I knew that I wasn't any of those things, but those feelings reared their ugly heads anyhow. Anyway he went on antibiotics Friday. The vomitting finally stopped. They said it could take 48 hours for the meds to kick in. For the next 2 days he was increasingly more sore - his whole body, inside & out - felt like his muscles were ripped. In the nite Saturday he was crying (not usual for him) & I wasn't sure whether to take him to emerg...didn't. Went to the walk-in clinic Sunday & a different doctor (nice) said the antibiotics were working for the bacteria, but his whole body was in a state of inflammation & he gave another prescription to help with that. A few hours after one pill, he was feeling way less painful. He had weighed between 130 & 135 pounds up & down. He now weighs 117!! He has had lots of liquids since last Monday nite, but apart from popsicles has eaten only half a strawberry & last nite a couple of spoonfuls of soup. The doctor said his stomach is inflammed too & once the meds work, he'll be able to eat. He's going to try to eat today. His arms are so skinny. This has been really stressful for me - for a week I've been a nurse - emptying vomit buckets; trying to help him feel more comfortable; holding him while he pukes; massaging him; and a good deal of the time he was in the rec room downstairs (where the TV is), so I was going up & down the stairs numerous times. He's being very appreciative & pleasant, but I'm exhausted. Fortunately he's a lot better & can now do way more for himself now. The GREAT thing is that he hasn't smoked up or smoked or drank since Monday!. He's on Day 7 of no substances! Not by choice, probably, but he's been too sick. He says he thinks this is what he needed to quit smoking cigarettes. But "weed" is so much a part of his lifestyle, I doubt if he'll stop that. I think part of the reason he was so sick is that he was having withdrawal symptoms as well as being sick at first.
> >
> > My new meds are kicking in already although they make me a bit nauseous in the evening.
> > ..........How long have you been on the new meds & is it more than one? Hopefully the nausea will abate soon, or maybe it has already.
> >
> > My back and shoulder a feeling much better and the pneumonia is abating slowly. Still have a nagging cough but not wracking anymore. My husband is now sick with a serious sinus infection.
> > .........I'm so glad you're on the mend & sorry that your husband was sick; hope he's alot better by now.
> >
> > Don't ya just love changes in weather? How goes the diary? I tried to keep one once but it just depressed me more. Could never find anything positive to write about and gave up. For some reason thinking about myself too much depresses me.
> >
> > .......my "feelings diary" is just about feelings, so I make sure to put pleasant-feeling ones in too. I try to put in at least 3 a day - morning/mid-day & evening. I find that I'm paying more attention to my feelings - especially my good old enemy - anger. I will be showing my psychiatrist (is that what pdoc means?) the diary & I'm so proud of myself because in the middle of the night on the first diary day I woke up & was really angry with my pdoc(?) because he was getting on my case about son's addiction & pointing out he thinks I'm in denial about it & that "harm reduction" programs are a bunch of nonsense in his opinion...etc. I kept running it over in my mind & was brave enough to write that in the diary! Good for me!!
> >
> > Thanks for the "gem" compliment, you're sweet. I think you are something else. You have such a capacity for caring and sharing, admirable. When I grow up I want to be just like you!! Ya ya I'm 30, but definately not a grown up.
> >
> > .............Thanks!! - Guess what - I'm not grown up either! Okay - well partly I am, but I have a very accessible (SP?) kid-part real near the surface & I allow her to pop out frequently!
> >
> > I happened to love "Treasure Island" when I was younger. Has your son read that classic? Thanks for writing back and again I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Big hugs to you and your son--Tina
> >
> > ...........I'll get Treasure Island from the library for my son to see if he's interested.
> > Thanks for writing & do take care. I'm going camping by myself! on Thursday for 10 days at Kilbear Provincial Park, near Parry Sound. (I thought I read in a post that you live in Ontario). I went last year for a week (just me) & LOVED it. I hope it doesn't rain too much or at least not 'til I put up my tent & rain tarps. If we don't talk before I go, I'll let you know how it was when I'm back. I seem to be feeling a bit more anxious over the past couple of days. Maybe it's all the stress. Or maybe I'll need to be on a higher dose of Celexa (20 mg now). We'll see.
> >
> > Hugs & warm wishes. Kath
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Hi Tina - I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt's passing away. Also, I didn't realize you had pneumonia. I hope you're doing better & that the shoulder & back are healing well.
> > > >
> > > > I find it hard to have the time to read all the new posts - especially if I miss a day or so, so I feel I get out-of-touch with things. Thanks for the words about the feelings diary. I think I can use it as a good tool. I'm getting pretty good at being more honest with myself & others; at one time, I might have written what I thought the doc wanted to hear or expected to hear, but not now.
> > > >
> > > > My son's still got the flu. Has been in bed since he came home from school on Monday afternoon. Geez - this'll be the longest time he's gone without getting high in a very long time! Maybe it'll be super-good for him to continue to be sick for awhile yet! Heh heh.
> > > >
> > > > Actually, it's felt sort of nice to be taking care of him. I read to him for awhile today; he didn't have enough energy to read but said he'd continue himself once he gets better. He thought the book was "awesome" ("Birds of Prey" by Wilbur Smith - a pirate novel that I read & loved.)
> > > >
> > > > I'm very pleased that I'm now taking 20 mg of Celexa with no side effects. It's still not working as amazingly as the first 3 days, but hopefully it'll kick in again, or maybe the dose will have to be higher.
> > > >
> > > > Take care of yourself - and you ARE a gem, I think!!
> > > >
> > > > Kath
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > In the above post I asked "Iwonder what else can go wrong this week?" Well, talk about counting your chickens. I just found out that my aunt passed away late last night. Nothing more this week -- Okay "cosmic gods" I've had enough for now thanks.
> > > > >
> > > > > > Going back on meds today. A little scared of the side effects and/or reaction. I was feeling better for a few days being off all meds but now that the full washout period is over I'm back to my old depressing self again. The pneumonia is getting better my the day but I have also just sprained my right shoulder and lat(back) and I'm taking advil every 4 hours to deal with the pain. Coughing feels like spikes digging into me on th right side. I know, I'm whining but what's babble for if not to whine a little right? Wonder what else can go wrong this week, geez! A couple of emotional issues that are keeping me up nights but I think they'll sort themselves out. Had two people tell me I was a gem yesterday so that goes a long way toward improving the mood too. I hope everyone has a good day out there. Hugs all around---Tina
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Hey Kath, Glad to hear that the meds are working. Step in the right direction huh? I'm sorry your son is sick but you are right about it being better than getting high. Feelings diaries can be a tricky business. You can end up re-reading the things you write down and critiquing yourself. My only advice there is be honest with yourself. Don't write what you think your pdoc wants to hear, dig deep and really be honest. It can cause you pain, relieve stress and map out patterns but I think it can be a very helpful tool for your recovery. Good luck with it and keep in touch ok. Don't know what we can do about Kathy. I've sent her some e-mails and had no answer, it worries me a lot. Take care and I hope your son feels better soon. Thanks for keeping me up to date.--hugs, Tina
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Hi Tina - I'm assuming you're Tinal? I hope you're feeling better. I'm upping my Celexa to 20 mg from 15. Three days at 15 & no side effects. I'm pleased! Today my 16-yr-old has the flu & is "sick-in-bed", vomitting, etc. It's funny; I'd rather empty buckets than see his main activity & interest in life be getting stoned!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I'm feeling way more positive; saw my psych (is that what pdoc means?) today & I think I'm going to be able to do some really good work with him. He wants me to keep a "feelings diary" - enter any major feelings three times a day. My big deal is being able to feel anger (or NOT being able to feel anger). I usually feel it for a second, find it's way too scarey & talk myself out of feeling it. My "committee" puts forth all kinds of reasons why the other person might have done; said what they did, etc. etc. & meanwhile my anger goes somewhere else - seems invalid.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I'm also afraid of others' anger. I guess anger is a big issue & I feel really optimistic about facing this and working on it.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Take care; thinking about you. Kath
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > ps - I'm worried about Kathy too.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Hi guys, just wanted to vent a little, hope you don't mind. I'm having a sh***y day today. My pulse rate won't slow down and my heart is pounding in my ears. Not feeling particularly anxious or panicky but I can't slow down this heart rate. What is causing it, I don't know but it's damn uncomfortable. Thanks for listening Love y'all---Tina
> > > > > > > > > How goes your day Noa, Judith, Kathie, kath et al....? Still nothing from Kathy I see, getting seriously worried now.
poster:tina
thread:36025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000610/msgs/37063.html