Posted by Tina1 on May 27, 2000, at 15:51:27
In reply to Re: boBB is so wrong, posted by boBB on May 27, 2000, at 14:06:23
> It sounds to me like some people are hurt that I won’t let them play doctor with my feelings.
>
> Someone asked how I feel. I answered. When someone said tell me more I said its not about me. Someone promised of nonjudgmental response, but when I declined, replied with vicious judgment.
>
> Somebody else writes back calling me hopeless because my hopes apparently to not concur with their expectations of what my hopes should be.
>
> I replied that they seem to me to be adhering to fundamental philosophies, specifically meaning fundamental tenets of humanism in which optimism and happiness are presumed to be universally correct paramount hopes.
>
> I am expressing fundamental tenets of another philosophy that presumes suffering to be an acceptable and appropriate part of living in a world balanced between lightness and darkness, between life and death.
>
> I further wrote, using an ancient allegory attributed an spiritual leader, who was murdered for his supposedly disruptive behavior, that if someone’s eye offends them they should remove it. If you feel perverse watching me bare my soul, don’t watch. Deal with the log in your own eye before you start digging at splinters in mine.
>
> In other replies respondents confuse what I feel and what I do in a specific situation with who I am. It was not my intention to start this thread. I feel I was baited. Then there are replies that presume to explain my motives. The fact that I and many, many others express sentiments here and elsewhere contrary to others preferences does not mean we are trying to do anything - to stir up, to disrupt or to challenge. Maybe that is part of my motive sometimes; it certainly seems to be an effect of my participation. Othertimes, I simply want to express concern for someone else. Sometimes I am just honestly expressing myself, perhaps in hopes of finding further acceptance. Maybe I am naive, but I am constantly suprised when people are unable to accept me for who I am - sort of like getting sucker-punched - I later realize I might be able to walk alone down my street but in this neighborhood I better be more wary, because I do not adhere to the correct creed.
>
> I stand up to this kind of behavior toward me because I have seen it all too often toward others, especially by medical and social service caregivers toward their clients. If people can’t live with my assertion of who I am, drop it and move on.
>
> I try to measure my participation, usually only offering personal insight when people ask, staying out of threads where I see people express views of themself what appear to me to be flawed, and joining threads where there is general discussion of the roles and philosophies of pscience.
> _________________________
> > If fish had wings
>
> Hopelessness, expressed succinctly.
> Hopelessness, a hallmark of depression.
> Depression, a difficult to treat, yet treatable illness.
>
> paraphrased read: “Your hopes are irrelevant, fish. You are sick.”
>
> By writing in a passive voice, the prose disguises who is acting. It presumes definitions to be universal, effectively denying me an opportunity to define my own status.
> ____________________________
>
> .>.>.> I was talking about allowing yourself to meet some of your emotional needs, that if you did so, maybe you would actually have more strength....
>
> This statement infers that either I am not allowing myself to meet my emotional needs or that I am making an incorrect choice in prioritizing my effort to meet my emotional needs, ultimately suggesting that I am weaker than the writer thinks I could or should be. Believe me, standing up in this forum requires more strength than you may have imagined.
>
> >>>>wouldn't you be more effective as an advocate of the downtrodden if you were relieved of some of your suffering, if you were healthy and strong and could mobilize your convictions and anger more effectively?
>
> Again, here is a suggestion that I am neither healthy, strong or living near my full potential - that loneliness and weariness are indicators of poor health rather than part of a price people sometimes choose to pay, or are required to pay for their strength and health.
> ______________________________
> 1. The specific way something's paraphrased can make a difference.
>
> Absolutely. That is the strength of paraphrasing. Pedantic repetition can turn strong statements into platitudes.
>
> 2. Coming from the Bible isn't an excuse for incivility, either.
>
> Bombing the Chinese embassy then saying we thought it was something else is not an excuse either, and the act was not entirely civil. The recent U.S. bombings of Balkan radio and television stations put me on edge as well. I work in places like that. I am not excusing myself. I am saying your definition of civility excludes me from your civilization. I do not consider exclusion to be civil.
>
> I am considering retiring this moniker from use at this site. Some people here seem unprepared to accept this part of whoever I am in real life. If more dishonesty on my part would make me seem more civilized, I can divide myself into any number of anonymous identities. But there seems to be too much recurring interest in my perspective to abandon those who are lurking and who sometimes show interest in my contributions.
poster:Tina1
thread:34648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/34906.html