Posted by JohnL on May 10, 2000, at 4:15:53
In reply to Work issues?, posted by Rebecca on May 8, 2000, at 18:16:15
Rebecca,
I remember similar discussions of work issues from half a year or maybe a year ago. At that time it seemed half the people felt bringing their depression out in the open at work was helpful, and half thought it was risky. As I remember it had a lot to do with where one lives. Some towns or states are more accepting, tolerant, and understanding than others.
I fall into the camp that believes discussing personal problems--like depression--is NOT a wise idea in the workplace. Even if you tell just one person, it's amazing how it always ends up being common knowledge--and often distorted rumor--all the way to your boss's desk. And then it isn't at all surprising to find that when cutbacks, layoffs, or whatever happens, you're the first to go. And of course they always find some legitimate reason--anything--so that it doesn't look like it's mental illness discrimination. Usually the reason has to do with poor performance.
So as hard as it is, I personally think it's best to keep it quiet and confidential at work. Work is not the appropriate venue to discuss depression or look for support. It's a place where we are hired to do certain tasks in return for financial compensation. That's the bottom line. Most bosses in my experience do not appreciate discovering they have an employee with a mental illness. Even friends and family often have a hard time filling that support role, not to mention casual work associates. If you need to open up, talk, share, get support, the appropriate and safe place to do that is with someone else like you who also suffers and/or or with a professional counselor.
You may likely be more aware of your dropoff in performance than others around you are. Sure they may notice something's troubling you, but something always troubles everyone from time to time. Hardly anybody consistently plows forward with unwavering performance. We all have peaks and valleys, personal problems at home, etc etc. If anyone confronts you or asks you about your performance, a simple answer stating that you are working through a family crisis is all they need to know. They don't need to know what the crisis is or any of the details. Just that you're dealing with something and you're trying not to have it affect you at work the best you can. And that you'ld rather not talk about it just now. That's all. But I wouldn't even mention anything at all unless confronted or asked.
On the other hand, if you want to risk losing your job, find out what mental illness stigma is firsthand, and discover who among your assumed friends are actually not friends at all...then go ahead and spill the beans. Like I said, some locales are accepting, many not. I have personally never seen a good outcome in the workplace when someone has made their mental illness public knowledge. Some things--as hard as they are--are best left unsaid.
So how do we get through the workday? What I discovered that works for me is to break work into segments. View it in little pieces, not in big chunks, and tackle each little piece one at a time. Focus only on the priority directly in front of you at the moment. Otherwise it can just be too overwhelming. Break it up into pieces for better coping skills. And always remind yourself...it won't always be this way! As time passes and your treatment continues, you'll feel better. You will get back to normal again. And because of it all, you'll be a stronger wiser person because of it. Just remember, EVERYBODY has peaks and valleys. You just happen to be in one of those valleys. It won't last. But until it passes, keep it personal and private. Just my opinion.
JohnL
poster:JohnL
thread:32805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33007.html