Posted by grrrilla on May 9, 2000, at 20:01:57
In reply to Re: Rage and Cutting, posted by Janice on May 9, 2000, at 15:07:51
> Hi Cynthia,
>
> I also have rages like yours--until recently, about 1to 2 a year on average. Instead of hurting myself, I tend to take all my anger out on other people--like boyfriends.
>
> But to me it sounds like the exact same thing. Something 'triggers' my anger -- my last rage was triggered when my boyfriend was 1 hour and 15 minutes late to pick me up.
>
> Then the rage builds and builds and builds., and i have very little control over myself--this is very scary. During my last rage, I supposidly threatened my boyfriend's life.
>
> And then something happens, and the rage peaks then explodes, and I begin a quick ascention back to reality.
>
> Most times Cynthia, I cannot even remember large parts of the rages, and people will tell me the things I have done. I will remember I had a rage, but not what happened during it.
>
> My psychiatrist explained it to me as a sort of seizure. That my brain gets triggered somehow, and then has this seizure that continues to escalate, until it peaks, and then finishes. This makes sense to me because, for the life of me, they do not make any sense afterward. I am embarrassed and usually single again.
>
> I haven't had a big one now for about 3 years. I've had a few small ones, but I find them easy to control.
>
> On a smaller scale, I've been practising trichotillomania since I was 5 years old.
>
> If you have any questions, please ask, Janice
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Janice Do you have any sympathy for the people who are convicted and in prison who describe their rage in a very similiar way? Insanity pleas almost never work. It must be horrible to know you have threatened the life of another person. I can't imagine that. Are you ever afraid you will hurt someone? Or that you have hurt someone during one of these seizures and don't remember it?It was brave of you to share this. Sometimes it seems like everybody wants to be Kay Jamison and nobody wants to be the Son of Sam (not that you are either). {:O)
poster: grrrilla
thread:32887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/32954.html