Posted by allisonm on May 4, 2000, at 20:34:26
In reply to Re: Does Not Depressed = Happy?, posted by maggie on May 4, 2000, at 16:13:35
I guess I disagree with Maggie. Depression isn't about not having enough strength and trying to be stronger. It's about brains and chemistry and other things that we still don't understand. Being strong doesn't keep depression at bay. It can cripple anyone -- regardless of level of intelligence, mental fortitude, background or disposition.
I myself have felt unhappy or flat for years now. It was only in 1998 that my depression was disgnosed. Meds have kept me from suicide. Sometimes, like harry, I feel cheerful and have glimmers of hope, but those feelings are pretty alien and strange. They are fleeting and don't feel normal or real.
I've been feeling better lately with different meds. The negative thoughts going around in my head aren't there so much. It's as though the tape loop broke. I've felt less exhausted, and more up to doing things that I wouldn't have imagined a few weeks ago.
I don't kid myself that non depression means happiness. I fear that happiness is a different animal all together. It feels elusive. Have you ever tried to catch a butterfly? I'm not even going to seek happiness -- at least not directly. My main focus is staying out of this hole. If happiness comes after that somehow, I won't turn it away. But I don't think it's something that one can seek out and grab. It has to come from within. I think it sneaks up on people. There are zillions of books out there with theories on how to find it. I think if anyone ever really discovered how to get it and bottled that, they'd be richer than Bill Gates.
Just my .02
poster:allisonm
thread:32150
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000429/msgs/32323.html