Posted by Soreteh on April 6, 2000, at 23:43:49
In reply to Support and compassion:Shameless plea!!!!!!!, posted by Soreteh on April 6, 2000, at 20:47:34
> I feel horrible. I'm begging for a little compassion. I am not an idiot. My feelings are hurt. I am desperate. Life has not turned out to be what I expected. Nobody loves me everybody hates me I'm going outside to...... (I am personally opposed to making suicidal threats but you may assume one for purposes of facilitating outpourings of support and compassion). I am human too. I am not an idiot. Why doesn't anybody like me? (Rhetorical ? no answers please)
> Request compassion, kindness, pure charity, gentleness.
> Why is everyone picking on me? (If I am paranoid, please use it as occasion for further outpourings of support and compassion rather than medication suggestions.)
> I am not an idiot. It feels like everyone is trying to kill my cyberself by attacking my input as not important compared to everyone else's. What have I got but words here. Bad enough to never fit in the real world and now outcast in Psychobabylonia. Well hang my harp on a tree I'm weeping.
> Rush support and compassion and kindness Thanks in advance.....S*I''m not an idiot*oreteh
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I'm not an idiot but I slept at the Holiday Inn last night. I must not be communicating very well. I am extraordinarily depressed. I can't go on like this , but I don't have any real options. How can I communicate despair without resorting to threats? I could go to the hospital but what good would that do? In a lot of ways it would make things worse. They have plastic pillows and I was in the hospital with 4 people who killed themselves while they were in there too. (One was a runaway and one was on a day pass actually-maybe that only counts as two.) Still how safe is that? And being locked up seems to crank the pressure up for me instead of down. But the change might jar me out of this state of mind. They might could help me finally get some sleep and I'd feel different when I woke up. I have plenty of pills here I could make myself sleep here but I'm afraid of how I'd feel when I woke up-which is irrational.
I thought benzos disinhibited me before and I need my inhibitions in place when I feel this irritable, but if I take enough to go to sleep will it be alright or will I wake up disinhibited. The answer of course is who knows? I don't want to feel like this anymore.
Nothing makes any sense to me. I am so tired. I am so very very tired.S.
poster:Soreteh
thread:29128
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000401/msgs/29156.html