Posted by val on March 27, 2000, at 15:05:18
In reply to Adderall experiences: I would like to hear some., posted by Cass on March 24, 2000, at 23:42:00
I was on Adderal for four months for ADD and became increasingly agitated. I am extremely tolerant of meds and was taking 190mgs a day. Each dose was effective for about 2-3 hrs. As each dose wore off I would feel this sort off rage begin to creep up. Everything was shitty until the next dose kicked in. The odd part is that there was a real physical aspect to it..I felt it, like a violent high or rush. It happened a couple of times in traffic and I really had to fight the urge to just ram the car in front of me. It was quite unnerving. The tainted view of my life was there, too. I don't know if it was regret, embarrasment, shame, frustration, who knows... Everything my wife did seemed to upset me horribly. My doc switched me to Dexedrine and the feelings are gone. Unfortunately, it isn't nearly as effective for my ADD as the Adderall was. It worked wonderfully. I recently starting taking Zoloft as well and am thinking about going back to the Adderall. Since depression in men can manifest itself in anger, my doc is hypothesizing that perhaps I am depressed and the whole ADD revelation was overwhelming me. Thus, the Zoloft. Things are indeed a bit rosier these days, but my old ADD ways are almost back to their previous levels. There are times when I think I was better off not taking anything... I'd finally gotten used to the fact that I was just an sarcastic, bitter asshole. An extremely bright and creative asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. My wife used to be this wonderfully optimistic and warm person. She still is for the most part, but those discussions/debates we used to have are getting fewer and fewer. You know the ones.."I think people in general suck. The average person is about as socially valuable as a box of hammers, how can you be such a bleeding-heart, join-the-peace-corp, I'm-sure-they-would-work-if-they-could, liberal?" vs "The average person is decent and considerate, I don't mind one bit that my tax dollars are given to an unwed mother with 7 children all with different fathers. You are such an elitist snob." I cannot for the life of me understand how she thinks, but its nice to know that people like her are out there, you know? I want my two little girls to grow up that way - looking at the bright side, believing in fairies and Santa Claus. No TV violence, no school shootings, no Kate Moss diets, no sexual predators, no cynics like me. No one to make them feel self conscious or afraid. I don't want to taint that innocence in any way. Perhaps my wife might go back to her earlier ways, as well. It hurts to think that I destroyed or diminished her way of seeing the world. So, I'll continue trying different solutions until I find one that works. They are worth any setbacks or disappointments I might encounter. Bit of a ramble..Sorry. What was the original question? I really need to start taking the Adderal again....Good luck to you.
val
poster:val
thread:28097
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000321/msgs/28250.html