Posted by MA on March 9, 2000, at 11:52:39
In reply to Workplace for me?, posted by JulieK on March 9, 2000, at 0:15:33
I have had depression since I was in my teens. That was more than 20 years ago and many, many AD's later.
I still struggle with my ability to work and make money. Right now I'm working part time but I always question my ability to continue working since I'm never sure how long my depression will stay under control. Right when I achieve a certain level of accomplishment my depression rears it's ugly head and I fail again.
I left a job 2 years ago and haven't worked full time since. I do wish that I didn't have to so that's why I'm working part time.
I certainly am not where I should be as far as a career goes. I would be happy to stay at home if money was not an issue. Since it is, there is that added pressure to go out and find a job, make money and stick with a job that really isn't that great. It is just about helping to support myself.
I'm not sure if I am better off since I have to push myself to take jobs only for the money. But as much as I would like to stay home and veg, my therapist insists that I need to work for my own feelings of self esteem and to contribute to the relationship (I'm married) financially.
My husband makes OK money but certainly not enough for us to live on comfortably.
Sorry for rambling but I can understand where you are coming from with the exception of "money isn't an issue". I'm resentful of those that don't have to work.During my worst depressions I thought I would end up dead or homeless. Such a dark period. It took my about 2 years to find a drug(s) that worked. I too was contemplating ECT and thought I was close to the end of any hope.
I hope you find the light very soon.
MA
poster:MA
thread:26423
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000302/msgs/26469.html