Posted by Noa on February 20, 2000, at 11:09:04
In reply to Vesper, posted by Phil on February 20, 2000, at 8:48:14
Vespers,
You are not wasting my time. But, it might be that I and others have been saying what you don't want to hear. I am sorry for that, in the sense that it feels unhelpful to you. But, I am not sorry for what I have said, because I believe it. I am very worried about you and want you to be safe.
The times I myself have been suicidal, the most recent being just a few months ago, I know that my thinking was skewed, and refused to allow me to consider the existence of other options, of possiblities. I needed to allow someone else's clearer thinking to take over for a while. And I am glad I did, even with my current slump.
Phil's account of his mother's struggle was powerful and took my breath away. Having struggled and stayed alive, she finally did get to a better place in her life.
We are lucky to be young people at a time when there are many more medical options for treating depression. Not perfect, believe me, I know, but more possibilities. And I think of my struggle now as the QUEST for the right combo of meds. Many of us don't find it right away, but a lot of us can find the right combo if we keep on trying. And in a few years a new kind of treatment will come out.
Struggling through is so hard, so draining. It is hard to keep hope alive. But while you are in the state of despair you are in, you need to allow others to keep you safe until you can begin to have some hope again, enough to be able to want to stay alive and safe.
poster:Noa
thread:22685
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000220/msgs/22705.html