Posted by bob on February 17, 2000, at 17:58:09
In reply to Can you lose a parent and not go into depression?, posted by Donut on February 17, 2000, at 17:23:16
Hmm, isn't "being hurtful" a requirement for being an attorney?
Sorry, it was an opening asking for a punch(line).
Yes, I think it's perfectly reasonable to be at peace and feel that you've resolved what you've needed. Particularly if you have a history of treatment, not just a history of depression. How about your sister? Seeing as depression is often a family affair, what's her history and (if she has one of depression but not of treatment) could this be her acting out against you because of it?
A couple other things are also perfectly reasonable. (1) You may not be done grieving, and issues may pop up that couldn't find room while your mother was alive. Don't be surprised if they do, and don't be disappointed or feel like a failure in what you have accomplished to this point. (2) Different people deal with grief in different ways. The fact that people in the same family, even siblings, can deal with it in very different ways can be unsettling to those who don't take it well.
Here's a book to read -- you may want to buy your sister a copy as well. I recommend it to anyone who has suffered this sort of loss. The book is "City of One" by Francine Cournos, a psychiatrist at Columbia. It's her memoir of being orphaned at an early age and how it affected her life. It was published last year and, depending on the bookstore, you might find it in the Memoirs/Autodbiographies, Biographies, or Psychology section. I think she shares a lot of wisdom on dealing with the catastrophic loss the death of a family member can be.
I hope it helps ... maybe your sister can get some message from a stranger that she can't hear from a sister. And don't let her problems get between the peace between you and your mother.
bob
poster:bob
thread:22109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000209/msgs/22123.html