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ADs and Alcoholism, Depersonalization (?)

Posted by carter on February 3, 2000, at 17:13:39

Hi, everyone-

I'm about to start a trial on Serzone, and one of my only reservations about it (and 2nd-generation ADs in general) relates to my experience on Zoloft, which I took for 8 months last year. During the latter half of that time, on a raised dosage, I experienced a troublingly decreased 'sense of self', which is perhaps to be expected inasmuch as the 'relieved' lifelong mental illness tends to have been a point of reference for other personality traits. What I did not expect were subsequent (consequent?) cravings for alcohol, the intensity of which, along with the flagrance with which I soccumbed to them, faded when off Zoloft. Zoloft decreased my need for sleep and added some insomnia, and didn't effectively treat my problem with anxiety and fear. Thus, to 'slow down my mind,' I'd surrender to the newly potent urge to drink (previously I catagorically avoided alcohol). The net effect of drinking, of course, was anything but therapeutic; sometimes anxiety and an unwanted feeling of activation resisted the effects of alcohol such that I blacked out without having relieved them.
And while I drank mostly alone, being social-phobic, my few drunken ventures into public life were instances I will always find bizarre, scary, and incongruous with the person I had been before and have been since my alcoholic & high-dose-Zoloft period.
I've heard one similar response to Effexor, and witnessed a completely parallel response to Paxil (despite its somnolent effect), and 'alcoholism' is even a listed side-effect on some SSRI descriptions. But I think it's (thankfully) a rare response. I'm hoping that the sedative, and supposedly anxiolytic aspects of Serzone may ease the problems I retained on Zoloft which tempted deviational behavior. I'm sure there's a good drug or drug combination to be found eventually, and perhaps Serzone will add perspective, if not end, that search. But because it's an AD, and because of my past, I can't help but be a little scared. Ultimately, of course, it's something I'll have to assess and work out alone/with my pdoc, but I'd appreciate any perspective/comments anyone might have.

thanks,
Carter


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