Posted by Noa on January 28, 2000, at 5:10:37
In reply to Re: artists and depression (discussion fodder), posted by JohnB on January 28, 2000, at 2:46:04
When I was younger, my creative self was a lot more active, and it was tied closely to my emotional sensitivity and tendency toward depression. It was like the boundaries that keep the feelings from spilling into the waking mind didn't exist or were weaker. It was like having a window open to the wind at all times, and being drawn to the breeze and away from the work of life. My imagination was always in gear. I would spend entire class sessions in college totally engaged in imaginative dreams and totally unengaged in the lecture or discussion, except to look like I was turning the text page at the right time. It was an escape that I needed, but it also made me vulnerable and unprotected.
At that time, I also was very open to poetic imagery, and did write some poetry.
Over the years, though, that part of myself has grown dormant. I haven't written poetry in eons. It feels like, just as my depressive tendencies opened me to my creative self back then, now I have become jaded by my depression, too cynical to allow my creative self to be expressed. There is a lot less "romance" in my depressed feelings. My depression has felt more DEADENING in recent years, and less evocative of the artistic spirit.
poster:Noa
thread:19731
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000128/msgs/19870.html