Posted by Canadian Michele on January 5, 2000, at 12:45:14
In reply to Re: my particular obsession (longish), posted by Phil on January 5, 2000, at 8:28:16
> CarolAnn, In recovery circles, it's called peeling away the layers of an onion. You fix surface things and then you go deeper.
> I don't think this is codep. Codep is putting others needs ahead of your own and sometimes, many times?, can be totally to your detriment.
> My Mother was alcoholic and I ALWAYS was trying to figure out how to help, please, fix her problem. I was over 30, in therapy, when I realized I wasn't taking care of MYSELF! I had no earthly idea what I NEEDED and still, to this day, have to work on figuring out my needs. I want to be liked also but it doesn't matter as much as it once did. I think now, I would rather have my voice heard and not just say anything just to 'get along'. It has taken me a long time to get there. Wanting everyone to like you is VERY HARD WORK.
> PhilI too have suffered to a certain degree with an addiction to love and approval. I want to recommend a book that I found on Dr.Bob's reading list:Feeling Good by David D. Burns. This book is excellent. Not self-help type thing. Jam packed with serious work assignments to relearn beneficial though processes, challenge erroneous and irrational beliefs etc. Cheap too $7.50 in US Also includes very comprehensive Drug Guide, side effects profiles, comparisons, and layman type explantions for the understood actions of drugs on brain chemical systems. I recommend it heartily. He has tremendous empathy, compassion and years of experience treating folks like us from all walks of life.
Michele
poster:Canadian Michele
thread:18076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000101/msgs/18096.html