Posted by Shar on March 23, 2005, at 1:34:11
In reply to Re: Shar shocked??, posted by coral on March 22, 2005, at 14:36:51
Wow, that is so eloquent:
"And, always, always, that vicious specter of depression laughing in the dark corners." You should consider writing for a living!
I understand and I'm glad you're 'getting through next week' if that's what it takes. Unrelenting stress is horrible, and I'm glad you have the means to manage it! And, I'm VERY happy to hear that it seems to be downhill now (having crested the worst of it all). whew!
The alleviation of my unremitting stress came with part-time job #2, and measuring out my Klonopin dosages VERY carefully! Panic attacks really bite! Plus, it seems now that my panic attacks and hot flashes are related....ohhhh, great! First one, then the other...
But really, in my part time job #2 reading student essays, I always take a half a Klon before I go, just to get there, and then....a few minutes/hours into it I start flashing. And not Christmas tree lights! I love Christmas tree lights, so that would be totally COOL!
So, we are in this big room of 100 people or so, at tables like a library, and my neighbor L just happens to notice me fanning myself with a sheet of paper and (he being older than me, and married previously) quietly said, "Hot flash?" and I said "Yes, they are so uncomfortable!" (We have to say everything quietly.)
So, now, we're 2 weeks into the project, and he makes sure there is a box of tissues on the table so I can wipe my brow/upper lip/back of the neck/etc. properly. In fact, sometimes, he sort of nudges the box toward me. I have very mixed feelings about it all (the nudging part, mainly...but I think it may be a guy thing, like 'fixing' the problem).
I am not in the least bit embarrassed, and know if I had enough $$ for docs I could get meds to mitigate the hot flashes. And, for L, well, he just has to suffer with me (or keep nudging those tissue boxes!). If I had other options, I'd take them. It's all touching and funny to me. L is a very dear person.
(Well, that was a huge segue! When I get home at 11:00 pm after all those student essays, I am waaaay too verbose!)
Whatever stage you're in, Coral, I am happy to hear it's the final one!
And, entirely happy to hear from you...period!
xoxo
Shar
> Well.........Coral is in the last stages of a relentlessly stressful six months -- all business-related which, of course, leads to a mighty noticeable impact at home. Back on Zoloft, increasing dosages over the last three months, therapy has gone from "improving self" to getting through the next week. And, always, always, that vicious specter of depression laughing in the dark corners. We've crested the worst of the stressors and now, I anxiously await for the anxiety to abate...and ...and...you know the cycle.
>
> I'm fighting distortions, such as "even good news comes with a price tag."
>
> bleech
>
>
> It sounds like things are improving, although being hectic for you, right now. I'm glad to know that.
>
> xoxoxo
>
> Coral
>
poster:Shar
thread:473750
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20041213/msgs/474407.html