Posted by Shar on March 4, 2005, at 23:09:01
In reply to Has anyone heard from Shar?, posted by judy1 on February 14, 2005, at 13:08:56
Hi, Judy and oldtimers,
Thank you for inquiring about me, and I apologize if I have caused any worry by dropping out of sight. That is exactly what happened with Gracie, and how horrible that was.I am isolating like crazy (as if that wasn't obvious) and I feel overwhelmed by everything. I have these huge awful panic attacks (no access to Xanax but I do get a generic Klonopin that helps a little), and my depression is (as Phil said) a little more pronounced than usual.
I think it is unremitting stress combined with lousy brain chemistry that just makes me want to stay in bed all day. And, by unremitting, I mean no $$, ran out of propane last Friday, and the least amount they could deliver was $300 worth. Great.
Found out earlier that week my sweetie's sis had to have serious surgery, so we'd gotten him a plane ticket, and we had to cash that in and borrow money to get propane. So, he doesn't get to be with his sis, and I hate that.
On an up note, I have a short term temp job (probably a couple of months) scoring essays that students write. It's sort of like the SAT/GRE but it's high school juniors; they have to pass a comprehensive test to graduate which includes an essay. It is part-time (5-10 pm) which I can handle ok.
It is interesting, because this whole week was training, and I noticed that I didn't have any panic attacks there (I always took a Klon before I went, but that doesn't always make a difference). Maybe the idea of making some $$ helps, or having something to focus on helps. At any rate, we did training and then had to take qualifying tests to see if we understood the scoring guides well enough to do the job (the scoring is totally nonlinear). So, tonight I passed both qualifying tests, and should have the job.
Only problem is, I get home at 10:30 and Sweetie is asleep, and I can't watch TV or anything to wind down because the only double bed (an unfolded futon) is in the living room...and he's sleeping on it.
I hope everyone is doing well, and thanks, Judy and Phil, for wondering about me. Judy, I haven't even been checking my email for eons. I will do so, and reply to you. I'm very sorry.
xoxo
Shar
poster:Shar
thread:457653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20041213/msgs/466755.html