Posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 15:22:10
Ugh. OK, so this is September, and I think I started with SparklingNewTherapist in June? Today I *finally* managed to talk about something that I've been hiding all this time. Of course, now that I was ready, she actually ended up directing me onto one aspect of it -- my aunt's contributions to the problem -- rather than staying on the more general topic, but it was still OK. It was a valid area to explore, for one thing, and I was able to say most of what I had to say on the general topic -- and, anyway, the general topic tends to push me into "Intellectual" mode, rather than anything emotional, so shifting the focus onto something related to the emotional side of it was probably a Good Thing.
Anyone proud of me?
(The topic, by the way, was my weight and eating. For whatever reason, I can type about it when you can't see me, but I can't talk about it with anyone face to face. In fact, I'd been trying to say it into her voicemail for a couple of weeks now, and just wasn't able to at all. Yesterday, on the followup with Dr NoName -- who may become Dr CattleProd -- I managed to say something about it, but there wasn't time to discuss it. He asked if he could discuss it with SparklingNew, and I was paralyzed -- just sudden complete paralysis at the thought of it. But, while he said he wouldn't, it did spur me on to get some of it out to her voicemail, as I was calling to ask about a second appointment this week.)
Now, of course, I'm in Reaction Mode -- overwhelmed, scared, etc. But -- it's done.
poster:Racer
thread:391571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/391571.html